


Something Beautiful

by Aerith_Mon_Kishu, Autumn_Froste



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Feels, Fluff, Hope, Oral Sex, Pregnancy, Radioactive, Rough Sex, Sex, Shower Sex, Smut, Unplanned Pregnancy, and found again, crushed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-13
Updated: 2017-11-26
Packaged: 2018-03-22 18:53:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 30,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3739699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aerith_Mon_Kishu/pseuds/Aerith_Mon_Kishu, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Autumn_Froste/pseuds/Autumn_Froste
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natasha can calm the Hulk down, and do even more than that. During Age of Ultron their relationship advances to a point neither of them thought possible. Sex is her best weapon and it seems like it works on him too. Even the Hulk's strength and body can't destroy her entirely after a brutal night, and she tries to get further, to wipe out her ledger until she has saved him. None of them thought they actually created a by-product, that makes everything even more difficult now.</p><p>extract: “Let's see what surprises you have for me, Doctor.” She knelt next to him, her hand gently caressing his torso, down, down until they slipped beneath the waistband of his shorts, the prominent erection already visible. Her eyes never left his, waiting for them to change their hue, as she grabbed his shaft, a small smile on her lips as she felt him thick and pulsing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lullaby

**Author's Note:**

> YES! I am doing it XDDD
> 
> The first chapter will give you a glimpse into the future and some sort of summary of this fanfic. Avengers 2 AoU isn’t out yet, so I will use what I know from trailers so far, which actually triggered the idea to write the pairing after all ^^ You saw the newest from April 13th? Clip 2? It hit me way too much XD
> 
> If you find any mistakes, please tell me. I wrote this in around an hour and only went through two times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have rewritten this chapter, making it a lot shorter because it had scenes (some sort of vision Bruce had for the future with her) that could no longer work with either the movie plot or mine. Since I saw the movie a while back I thought it would be a much less disturbing and not so spoiler-filled intro. Yet, it’s much shorter now, sorry ^^ Yet you guys know that the more the story progresses the longer my chaps get. So have fun ^^

  **Something Beautiful**

  **~.~ ~.~ ~.~ ~.~ ~.~ ~.~ ~.~ ~.~ ~.~ ~.~** **~.~ ~.~ ~.~ ~.~**

<http://mon-kishu.deviantart.com/art/Black-Widow-Cosplay-Captain-America-Winter-Soldier-445402009>

  


**Chapter 1: Lullaby**  


**~.~ ~.~ ~.~ ~.~ ~.~ ~.~ ~.~ ~.~ ~.~ ~.~** **~.~ ~.~ ~.~ ~.~**

 

There was none of the other Avengers around, so it was only her and him, in the cold forest. And she needed a way to calm him down, in order to save her own life. But now, she knew she could trust the Hulk. “Hey, big guy.”

  


The green monster turned around to face her, anger still written over his face, but it was fading, good. For a moment he snarled at her, making her hide the shiver that crept up her spine, yet she tried to stay calm, going down on her haunches. “Sun’s getting real’ low.”

  


He advanced, but stilled when he got close enough, looking from the opened palm back towards her face. The Hulk opened his own hand, carefully outstretching it to her and then turning his arm to touch her fingers his the back of hand.

  


Yes, he was… Natasha lifted her arm again, her own fingers touching his green skin gently, caressing his wrist, his fingers, until he quietly groaned at her and backed off.

  


The Hulk collapsed next to a tree, holding himself upright for a few second until he lowered his body, shrinking and turning back into Bruce.

  


She had done it. And something in her mind told her that the Black Widow was able to do even more for him.

 

~.~ ~.~ ~.~ ~.~ ~.~ ~.~ ~.~ ~.~ ~.~ ~.~ ~.~

 

He felt cold, exhausted but calm. “Did it work?” His first words when he finally regained control of his lips.

 

“Yes, it did.” She gently touched his shoulder before helping him up and giving him a jacket to wear. “Come on, testing is over. Let’s inform the others that we finally mastered the Hulk.” Natasha said with genuine smile.

 

Bruce could only nod. Not being able that their test actually worked out. The Black Widow was able to talk the Other Guy down without being harmed. Banner sighed in relief. That was a little miracle.

 

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<http://mon-kishu.deviantart.com/art/Bruce-Banner-Hulk-Marvel-Age-of-Ultron-sketch-533724691>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chap is smutty, so be prepared. And the rest too by the way. Until they figure everything out and Ultron happens ^^


	2. Controlling the Monster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smutty time ^^ Sorry for not making a proper AoU story around it atm, but since Avengers 2 isn't out yet (and I don't want to make grave plot mistakes right in the first few chaps), I need wait for more plot stuff until later chapters. Gonna use some flashbacks for it, as soon as I get my hands on a cinema ticket ^^ If you live in Stuttgart pls contact me ^^ Gonna visit the cinema every day from thursday on and I (mostly) will watch the movie in my Black Widow or Loki Cosplay ^^ If you wanna join me, send me a message ^^

**Chapter 2: Controlling the Monster**

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Banner couldn't believe this was actually happening as the Black Widow locked the door behind her.

„Relax. I know you can handle it. And so can I. He won't hurt me.“

“He wants you. And I am not sure if my feelings for you are the same as his. He wants to own you in an primal way I think.”

“And what is that you want?” she asked seductively, her fingers opening the buttons of his shirt.

He swallowed down his doubts. “You are a beautiful woman. No man would turn you down.”

“But you aren't like any other man. You have the most perfect...” She finished opening his shirt, her fingers gliding between fabric and skin. “... self-control I have ever seen.”

“Is that the only thing you find appealing?” He asked with a smug grin.

“Well, you're not bad to look at.” She kissed his neck gently. “And also, still waters run deep.”

“You want to wake the monster.” He said, his body shaking with excitement at her seductive voice.

“No, just wondering how far I can push you,” Natasha purred against his neck.

„You live for the danger, don't you?“ He helped her getting him undressed. Maybe he should really give in. Tomorrow the world could already fall apart. Why not make the best of the last moments?

„It's my job.“ she answered and saw his smile fading. „And my passion.“ The grin came back to his lips.

The Hulk watched the scene through Banner's eyes as the woman started to undress herself. Her smile was so kind and he knew he could trust her. She was taking control of Bruce in a way that he never would, and the Hulk liked what he felt through his human body, so he remained silent, interested and almost curious of what would happen next.

“Lay down,” she whispered as her hands pushed him towards the bed gently.

Bruce followed the order, excitement and uncertainty mixing inside him. “And what if the Other Guy shows up?”

“I'll be watching your eyes all the time. If they turn radioactive green, I'll back off.” She tried not to listen to his doubts and entertained herself with the thought of what the Hulk would think as soon as he found both of them in one bed. It was physically impossible, but... maybe the Hulk was watching right now, and maybe he liked what he saw.

His trousers were feeling tighter every second, so he was grateful as she opened them with skilled fingers, pulling them down and throwing them aside.

“Let's see what surprises you have for me, Doctor.” She knelt next to him, her hand gently caressing his torso, down, down until they slipped beneath the waistband of his shorts, the prominent erection already visible. Her eyes never left his, waiting for them to change their hue, as she grabbed his shaft, a small smile on her lips as she felt him thick and pulsing.

Banner couldn't suppress the moan as she took hold of him. Heaven... His eyes rolled back and his hips pushed against her hand.

“Everything alright?” She asked him, her body still.

“Err, yeah.” Bruce blinked once, twice and then nodded. The Hulk was silent, only his own excitement making his heart beat rapidly.

“Well then.” She didn't even give him the chance to react as she got rid of his shorts, a smile on her lips as she saw him standing proud and tall and so ready for her. But not yet. The Black Widow would savor every bite of her prey. She moved like a wild cat as she sat on top of him, his erection rubbing against her panties. “Hm, I should have brought some handcuffs.”

The words took him by surprise. “What? The Other Guy would destroy them in a sec.”

“Oh no, they are entirely for you,” she laughed. This whole thing was about control. Loosing and gaining it, and giving it willingly.

“Maybe for the next time.” He said, cocking an eyebrow.

She smiled down at him. “If you let me.” Her hands found his skin again, touching, feeling him, until she saw him relaxing under her skilled fingers. She leaned down, kissing his mouth gently, her breath ghosting over his cheek as she pushed her body down on him.

It felt wonderful how her form melted with his. He only realized his hands moving as he heard her bra being unclasped and he didn't stop them from pulling the piece of cloth away, and neither did he falter when he cupped her breasts with his large hands. So soft.

His boldness made her grin. He might be a virgin, but knew a lot about human bodies, studying them for decades. So she didn't need to fake the moan when he started massaging her, would never have to, because she wanted to be honest with him. No traitorous game and spying, but trust and kindness, and lust.

“I hope I can live up to your imaginations.” He said as if he read her mind.

Natasha laughed and kissed his lips. “Oh, I'm sure you will.” She lifted herself up again and let her hips do their miracle. After a few minutes of movement she felt his hands grabbing her buttocks as he ground against her with a low growl. “So eager...” Natasha knew she couldn't play with a virgin for that long to get her own satisfaction in the end, so she quickly got rid of her panties and sat on her haunches on either side of his legs, giving him an excellent view of what awaited him.

“God...” Banner moaned as his eyes studied her. “I think there was rarely a moment in my life where I felt such a strong... need,” he panted.

“Just give in then. Enjoy it.” It felt sinfully good to have so much control over him, to make the world around him fade. Natasha made her hips slide against his a few times, coating him in her wetness to allow a smooth entrance.

“I'm not sure if I am ready for this.” He stammered, feeling his heart beat frantically and his breathing rapid.

She studied him for a second and found no signs of the Hulk on him. “Oh, I think you can cope.” The Black Widow didn't give him the chance to protest as she took him inside of her with a quick movement of her hips. He stretched her so blissfully and filled her up completely. A moan escaped her lips as she felt the slight burning of a well endowed man inside of her. It had been a while since she had someone so gifted.

Banner on the other side struggled against his inner demon trying to gain control. He couldn't remember any breathing technique while she felt so deliciously tight around him.

“Bruce?” She knew something was wrong, but she couldn't see his eyes because they were closed. Then she saw the green hue of his skin and her heart stopped. “Bruce?! Bruce!” Maybe it had been a mistake. Well, then she would do the next one now. Her hand slapped his cheek hard. “Snap out of it!”

He stilled for only a blink before grabbing her by the neck and switching positions. “You talk about loosing control, about giving it willingly.” His voice seemed angry as he towered over her, but his eyes, although shining in bright green, said something else. “Then give me a little bit of control.”

Natasha took a deep breath and closed her eyes against all odds. “I trust you.” She heard him growl as he thrust inside her forcefully. She grabbed the sheets to not be pushed into the headboard of the bed while her legs locked around his hips, trying to get a better angle as he hit the end of her.

The Hulk enjoyed having his human be on top and in control, so he gave him a little bit of power back, wondering what Banner would do to her now.

It was thrilling to watch Bruce like this. Natasha could not deny that the fear for her own life made it even more exciting. Yet she knew she could trust him, so giving him the reigns was the best option. This gave her the chance to concentrate on what he was doing to her body, his wandering hands, his powerful thrusts, his breath of her skin as he leaned towards her to kiss her lips, biting into her neck. Her body melted under his ministrations, even though they were rough.

Bruce couldn't believe he was actually doing this. It was fascinating. And the more he enjoyed himself the lesser got the hold the Other Guy had over him, as if he also wanted this. At least they had the same opinion. So the doctor did what his body told him. Thrusting into her harder and faster until he felt his hair sticking to his forehead, beads of seat forming on his skin. He had never been this physically... active before without the Hulk taking over. And it felt good.

Natasha watched him closely. His eyes were still blazing green but he had control. Then his movements became more frantic, showing that he was about to reach his peak. She was fine that, since the assassin herself wasn't so far behind.

Banner finally grabbed her hips as he felt the desire mounting, leading him to some blissful place. He held her body tightly as he thrust into her with ferocious speed, hearing the sound of skin slapping against skin, while he threw his head back and growled. “Damn...” So close...

She moaned his name out load, knowing that this would send them both over the edge.

His movements faltered for a second before he slammed against her harder, if that was even possible. An angry shout escaped him as he felt her contracting around his maleness. Unbearably tight... so wonderful... His own body shook as he emptied himself inside of her, pure bliss blinding his sight.

Natasha felt him pulsing, filling her up completely, and she took all he gave her. Enjoying the knowledge that she was his first, that she had mastered the Beast. The blissful waves still flooded her body while he already collapsed on top of her.

“Thank you,” he panted, kissing her forehead gently while he cried tears of joy. It had been as wonderful as everyone said. “Thank you,” Banner repeated as he laid down next to her, not sure if she liked cuddling, so he decided to stay on his back until he had regained some conscious. The Hulk was silent, no, not entirely. Bruce couldn't describe it, but somehow... even the Other Guy seemed to be... happy.

“No, thank you.” She whispered and leaned over to give him a shy kiss on the cheek, her hand resting on his stomach while she tried to calm down as well.

~.~ ~.~ ~.~ ~.~ ~.~ ~.~ ~.~ ~.~ ~.~ ~.~ ~.~

Natasha awoke first, her sore thighs showing clearly what had happened last night. And she didn't regret it one bit. Bruce had been gentle and so blissfully unknowing, well before the Other Guy took control of course, but even then he stayed the same, not crushing her under a ton of muscles. It had been fun, actually, and she knew now, that he would have even more power over the Hulk.

She looked outside the window. The sun was just about to rise, so she would indulge in another quiet minute, turning around to face Banner, when she felt something wet and sticky between her thighs and a dull pain in her abdomen. Confusion made her lift the blanket, only to stare at the bloody mess on the sheets. She didn't remember that happening during their encounter. The smell of blood was strong in her nose as she tried to breathe.

“Natasha?” a sleepy voice next to her asked, as she felt him moving, blinking, and then the sharp intake of breath. “Oh my god. What... have I done?”

The Black Widow could see his skin turning into a shade of green. Damn, she needed to calm him down. “It's nothing. You haven't hurt me. And anyway, we both were a part of this.” Her hand checked the place between her thighs for any injuries and found none, and the blood was already drying. So whatever had happened did already heal. “I'm fine, really.”

“What caused this?” Banner said after a couple of deep breaths. He grabbed for his shorts in the need of covering himself. She might not shy away because of her nakedness, but he still felt uncomfortable. “I mean, I didn't Hulk out, did I?”

She looked him straight in the eyes with a 'you can't be serious'-look. “The room is mostly intact, so I think not.”

“You're not a virgin, are you?” Banner asked, trying himself at a joke, but her serious expression made him falter right away.

“Whatever it was, it healed already. So stop worrying about it. Surely it was a remnant of our fight yesterday.” She watching him kicking off the blanket and starting to put on some shorts, as she noticed his morning wood. She licked her lips in anticipation. “I could help you with that.”

“What?” Her words didn't make sense at first before he realized what she meant. “Now? Are you serious?”

Natasha chuckled. “When am I ever not serious?” She got up and flexed her muscles. “We both could use a shower, come on.”

Banner wasn't able to place the feeling he had, but it was as if the Hulk was purring in delight.

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He could barely believe his luck as the most beautiful woman he could imagine smiled up at him while she went down on her knees. Bruce tried to find something to hold onto as her mouth encircled his manhood. Her methods were quick and effective while she worked on him, pumping with one hand and caressing the tip with her tongue.

Natasha gave him her naughtiest grin, knowing that he could handle it now. He was so wonderfully responsive. Her second hand wandered up his thigh to reach for his balls, massaging them between her fingers, sending little pleasurable waves across his body with every touch.

“Tasha...” he moaned as his hips bucked into her.

Now was time for her best trick.

His eyes tore open as she swallowed him whole, taking him deep into her throat until her face touched his skin. One last helpless shake of his hips, before he let himself go inside of her. He couldn't breathe, couldn't think as he exploded.

Natasha felt the first drops spurting down her throat before she pulled back to suck more effectively, while she swallowed all he gave her. She tasted the salty cum on her tongue as she milked him to the last drop, enjoying his helpless pants, his hands gripping her hair tightly to find something to hold on to. When Bruce was done, she gave him one last lick, before he fell down to the floor limbless.

“Amazing...” Banner gasped as he looked at the smile on her face.

“I'm glad you liked it,” she chuckled as she tried to get up, but he pulled her back down to him, pushing his lips onto hers and giving her a passionate kiss.

They just left the bathroom when there was a short knock on the door before Tony opened it. “Hey, you guys. I know it's not my business, so I won't ask any question why you two shared a room. We're gonna leave in half an hour. Pack your stuff and come to the living room for a short breakfast.”

Natasha's light-hearted grin made Banner smile too as they got dressed.

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The Black Widow had a casual look on her face while she prepared her butter bread. Banner didn't have that much confidence or acting skills as he watched the very fingers that had just... The doctor knew his face was red with shame.

“Who the hell used all the warm water?” Tony asked as he entered the kitchen shivering and with still a bit of shampoo in his hair.

Bruce nearly choked on his water, but remained silent.

“So what's the plan?” Natasha wanted to know, her face turned towards the Captain and Tony as she took a bite and suddenly felt a slight pain in her mouth. She looked at the bread that was dark where her teeth came in contact with it. She gingerly touched her front teeth and saw blood. At the same time her stomach felt queasy. She heard the others talking about the plan, but didn't listen until someone spoke to her directly.

“Natasha? Are you alright?” the Captain wanted to know.

“Yeah, yeah. Don't worry. I just...” She searched for Banner's eyes that already observed her intensely. “Bruce, a word in private?”

“Of course.” he followed her quickly into the kitchen and closed the door, while the others just stared at them, not sure what exactly was going on.

Natasha leaned over the sink, the strange feeling in her stomach getting stronger every second. She tried to fight it off but the taste of blood in her mouth made it even worse. She grabbed a glass and filled it with water before cleaning her mouth with it, spitting it out.

Banner just watched her, trying to analyze what was happening. Then he saw the bloody water in the sink. “What the hell?”

The Black Widow took a deep breath before turning around. “I have a theory. Which parts or fluids of your body are radioactive?” It sounded absurd even in her ears, but she had to ask.

“I... don't know.” He was at the loss of words, as his mind processed the options, but he caught on quickly. “My seed. That's what you mean, right?”

“Yeah. I think it's attacking my body. Last night... Your thighs weren't bloody as well, which means the wounds had started to bleed after we finished. And now I am having the same problem with...” She stopped, not wanting to speak it out since he knew it already.

“So it was me that hurt you.” He stated, shivering from the power he needed to fight the Hulk down.

“It's not your fault, and anyway. I heal quickly. But you would have been able to seriously damage or even kill any normal woman you slept with.” She saw the regret in his eyes and knew that his mind was already farther than the now and then. He had just made the first step into a normal life, without the Hulk threatening to destroy everything, only to see it crumble at the next second. “You'll find a way, don't worry.” She put her hand on his shoulder.

Banner blankly stared into the distance. “I will need to examine you as soon as we can get our hands on the right equipment. I might have seriously damaged your body.”

“No, you haven't.” She repeated, as the world began to spin. “My body can adept, just as it always does. And I wouldn't mind being the one you use for your... outlets. It was quite fun.” Her tone was light, but her body suddenly felt heavy, too heavy for her legs.

“Nat?” He watched the color drain for her face. “Oh no...” He reached for her just in time as she faltered, her body heaving until she coughed blood, his shirt and the corner of her mouth stained with it, before she went down on her hands and knees, vomiting on the floor.

Bruce stared at the bloody mess on the tiles and felt the Hulk inside him raging. The beast was angry, because it also knew what was wrong here.

“Holy shit.” Tony stated as he entered the kitchen, wondering what took them so long.

“Tasha!” Clint was next to her in a second and holding back her hair, while she heaved once more. “What happened to her?” he asked Bruce.

“Radioactive poisoning I believe.” He stated, his voice calm while his mind was full of emotions.

“How did that happen?” Tony asked, but already had the answer to his questions as he watched Bruce's face contort in regret. “Shit. Well, at least you had the Hulk under control, but seriously... A blow-job?” He chuckled.

“Stop making fun of it, Stark, and help me putting her to bed.” Clint tried to lift Natasha who was limb in his arms.

“No, no. I am already feeling better.” Natasha had regained some conscious and tried to stand on her own feet again. She could feel the tingling of her flesh repairing itself. “It's over. Just give me a minute.” She let Clint help her to the nearest chair.

“I hope you do. We need to leave quickly, because...” Steve who had been in the living room until now also entered and stopped in his tracks at the bloody mess. “Holy... Did you get hurt during the fight yesterday?”

“Not exactly.” Natasha murmured as someone handed her another glass to rinse her mouth.

Fury had also joined by now and doing a good job in hiding his shock. “Romanoff, report. What's going on here?”

Oh damn. It had never been her intention to make it this public... “I was helping Banner to train controlling the Hulk. Which worked out pretty well.”

Fury cocked an eyebrow. “And why are you vomiting blood all over the kitchen floor?”

Natasha was glad that she didn't have enough blood left to blush. “His seed is toxic of some sort, attacked my body, but it's already half repaired by now.”

“How did that...? No, don't answer. I don't want to know. Just... get ready.” He never thought all these events could get more fucked-up, but still he trusted Natasha's judgment concerning her healing skills.

“Yes, sir.” Natasha said loud and clear before she stood up, trying to fight off her dizziness.

“And cease further interactions of these sorts until all that is over.” Fury added.


	3. The Monster taking control

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, sorry for another chapter without plot around it. It will follow, I promise as soon as AoU is out. I wanted to shock you a little with this one here. 'Enjoy'... *snickers*

**Chapter 3: The Monster taking control**

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Natasha gave an exasperated sigh. “We're stranded. Communication's down.” She threw the destroyed device away. “We need to wait until they pick us up.”

Banner rubbed his hands against each other in a futile attempt to keep himself warm. His last outburst had shredded his clothes and there were no spare ones.

Natasha noticed his gesture and nodded towards the tent they had build as a temporary camp. “Come on in. We can warm each other.”

After they made themselves comfortable under the blanket, she drew closer to him, a clear intention in her eyes.

“Didn't Fury point out some strict rules for this?” He asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“He doesn't need to know. And anyway, this is better than freezing to death.” She quickly shed her clothes, not wanting to waste any time.

He followed her path, the remains of his shorts gone in seconds. “And what about our little.... radioactive problem?”

She smiled at him, a kind and joyful grin. “Well, doctor, I believe you already have a plan for that.”

“Coitus interruptus.” Banner couldn't hide the chuckle. “This is actually the first moment I ever advice this, since it's a not very effective birth control.”

It hurt to think about what the Red Room had taken from her, but she pushed the thought aside, trying to enjoy the here and now. “Well, at least we don't need to worry about that.” She made herself comfortable on the hard ground, spreading her legs for him with an inviting smile on her lips.

“What have I done in my life to deserve you?” Banner's voice was full of wonder as he lowered himself between her thighs, not entering yet, just enjoying her warm body pressed against his.

“Properly something really, really bad,” she purred, moving against him, capturing his mouth in a passionate kiss and burying her hands in his hair. He moaned in pleasure, which made her tug at his follicles more forcefully, earning a groan.

He lifted himself, looking at her directly, so she could see the bright green in his irises. “He is watching too.”

Natasha gave him a quick kiss on the mouth before laying back. “Then let's give him a little show.”

Bruce shuddered visibly before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. He made himself more comfortable between her thighs, his tip pressing against her entrance. Then he lowered himself into pure bliss. She was so tight and warm. He felt at ease inside of her, even the Other Guy hummed in pleasure.

The Black Widow was fully content in giving him the leash. For someone with so little experience his movements were precise and effective, a natural talent. He filled her so perfectly, being exactly what her body yearned for.

Banner took his time with her, trusting his own self-control enough to let his needs take the upper hand. And he became more and more confident, his hands roaming over her, finding the places that charmed the sweetest sounds out of her. They moved in the same rhythm for a few minutes, until he felt the peak within reach. “I need to pull out,” Banner groaned, lifting his body up, trying to untangle himself from her limbs.

“No, not yet, just a little...” She moaned, keeping him as close as possible, while he struggled for control.

Bruce gave his best to hold himself back while he tried to fulfill her wish. “I could hurt you.”

“I don't care. I...” her body arched against his, tightened around him until it became unbearable. Natasha moaned unbashfully as she came around him.

Bruce cried out loud, finding the power to untangle himself at last. He had just enough time to straighten up and throwing his head back as bliss washed over him. His hand palmed his cock instinctively, giving himself a few tugs while he exploded over her body hot and hard.

Natasha didn't notice him defiling her, and even if it only would have turned her on more, giving her a new height. When she finally came to her senses again, she saw him looking at the mess he had done, his eyes full of disgust.

“I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.” He pressed out, trying to find something to clean her skin.

“It's okay. Oh, Doc, please, just calm down.” She laughed light-heartedly at his clumsiness. She made sure his eyes were fixed on her before she dipped her finger in his release that stained her belly and breast.

Banner's eyes tore open as she lifted her hand and parted her lips. “No!” He grabbed her wrist before she could lick her fingers.

Natasha cocked an eyebrow and smiled at him. “What?”

“You could hurt yourself. Why are you doing this?” All common reasons aside.

“Immunization?” Her brow lifted even higher.

It was so absurd he started to laugh. “I don't think that this works with radioactivity.”

“Let's give it a try,” she whispered as she felt his grip loosening. A quick lick of her tongue finished the deed. Natasha saw his shock, but also there was this tiny spark of lust in his eyes. Yes, still waters ran deep.

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“Are you alright?” He asked after around 20 minutes of silence. Any side-effects would have shown by now.

“I'm fine.” Natasha assured him. “But we might still need to find another method if we want to continue this.”

“Do you want to continue?” He asked, the question on his mind since he had started to develop feelings towards her. And he knew, that she had all right and reason to not make this a permanent relationship. Given what he was, what she was.

“Let's see where fate carries us. I... wouldn't mind.” She drew closer to him, her hand sliding down until she palmed him.

His hips bucked against her. “Again?”

She smiled at him, a real, true smile. “Don't tell me you're not ready yet?” Natasha gave him a few tugs, feeling him hardening.

Only minutes later they were entangled in a passionate play. It was soothing, invigorating and warm. They became more and more confident with each other, knowing what made them shout out in pleasure.

Both of them didn't notice their enemies approaching silently from behind the trees. That one of the foes analyzed the scenery, aiming at their heads inside the tent by using thermal imaging.

Natasha leaned forward to give him a gentle kiss when she heard two shots and felt a projectile grazing her. The Black Widow had barely time to realize what was going on, when she heard Banner's load roar, indicating his transformation. His... what? The next moment she was pressed down by heavy muscles. She screamed, trying to escape his grasp but to no avail, then the pain started. A searing agony that ripped her abdomen apart. Her one and last thought was Bruce and how he would suffer as soon as he awoke, what followed was only darkness.

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“Quickly, we need to take them down.” Clint shot one of the enemies before looking around, searching for Natasha and Banner. “They must be here somewhere.”

“I found their shelter,” Stark called from around 400 feet away. “It's torn apart.”

“Fuck, where...?” Clint was interrupted by the loud growl of the Hulk in the east. “Over there.”

Stark activated his thrusters and flew ahead, careful not to become another target of the green rage monster. 'Sir, the sensors detect a life-form right ahead of us. Judging by the size it seems to be Banner's alter ego.'

Iron Man stopped as he spotted green behind a fallen tree. What he saw then made his stomach turn. The snow was stained in red, so much blood... The Hulk grunted while he moved... something in his large hands... Stark couldn't believe what his eyes forced him to see. A mane of red hair hang limbless, just like the body it belonged to, half hidden behind the Hulk's back. The monster groaned loudly before laying the broken form into the cold snow. His breathing showed sudden confusion and fear.

“What's going on? Is that...?” Clint stopped beside him. He arrived too late to see the deed being done.

Stark closed his eyes, trying to block out what he just witnessed. “She's hurt. We need to help her.”

By now all the others had arrived, shocked by the violent scenery. None of them tried to approached yet, while the Hulk hovered above her body, touching her fearfully, shaking her after he got no response. He threw his head back, howling desperately, before starting to shrink, turning back into his human form and collapsing onto Natasha, unconscious and unmoving.

“Now!” Clint ran ahead, pulling out a first aid kit in hopes that this would be enough.

Stark remained there, stock still, his mind still processing what he had just witnessed. How could she even survive this?

The first thing the Captain noticed was Banner, lying above Natasha's body, his clothes gone, and then... The Black Widow was naked as well, her face as pale as the snow, pain written all over her.

Thor grabbed for Banner's arms, turning him over and giving him his first glimpse. There was blood everywhere but not from a bullet or a cut. Someone gasped behind him and he turned around, looking into the archer's horrified eyes.

Clint stormed forward, his hands hovering over Natasha's broken body, shaking and not knowing how to start. “We need to help her. She has lost a lot of blood. Stark!” He had no idea how to stitch her back together, while he stared at the gaping wound between her legs. The rest of her was gladly intact, as far as he would see.

“What happened to her?” Thor asked beside him.

“The Hulk...” Stark muttered, the helmet making him sound mechanical and monotone.

“Damn, Stark, help her!” He couldn't even grasp why Tony was still in his suit and not already helping him stop the bleeding, while he himself was putting tissues against the gap between her thighs.

“Jarvis, damage analysis,” in an afterthought he added, “for all to hear.” Knowing that he couldn't speak it aloud himself.

'Miss Romanoff has severe abdominal ruptures. Judging by the surroundings, she has lost almost 3 liters of blood. I would advice a transfusion and immediately patching up of her wounds. Also, recalling the past events this morning, the radioactive substance must be extracted from her body.' Jarvis' voice answered him.

“Radioactive...?” Clint looked at the snow more closely. The realization hit his heart before it reached his mind. “He...” Hawkeye couldn't believe it, didn't want to.

“Was that from...?” Thor asked, not able to understand.

Steve merely stared at Natasha, his complexion pale. “I'm gonna get sick.” He turned around and heaved.

“Someone help me!” Clint screamed out loud and saw another hand steadying his while he tried to find something in his kit.

“Clint, calm down.” Stark told him, his visor opened, his hands free from mechanic parts.


	4. How to cope with pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have decided that these chaps at the moment take place BEFORE Age of Ultron and lead towards it. And… I cried for half an hour under the shower after I finished it...

**Chapter 4: How to cope with pain**

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Tony could not stand watching his science bro in such a state. Banner was devastated since he had found out what his alter ego had done to Natasha. And he had every reason to. The damage had been severe, only the serum keeping her body from collapsing. They had done what they could until she was transported into Stark's lab where Helen, a gifted scientist and friend, had used a machine on her that was able to print tissue, repairing what had been torn apart.

“It's almost done. Do you want to go to her when we wake her up?” Tony asked, putting a hand on Banner's shoulder.

“I don't think she wants to see me.” He was conflicted. He had no idea what to say, how to apologize for something he couldn't even remember. It all had worked so well between the two of them before. She had calmed his other side down after the fights since a while now, they had earned each others' trust in slow but sure steps. Even started a romantic relationship that he enjoyed very much. It had never been a possibility before but with her... everything seemed within reach. Until his true nature had shown up again...

“Come on, buddy.” Tony pushed him towards the door that slid open automatically.

Bruce took a deep breath and tried to avoid looking at Natasha, fixing on the medical equipment instead that showed her strong life signs. She was alright. He glimpsed at the machine and what it had repaired.

By now Tony had shut down the apparatus and after a quick, purely professional glance he draped a cloth above her hips. “She's fine now. Let's wake her.” He injected something into her IV drip and stood next to his friend, waiting with him.

As her eyelids began to flutter Banner recoiled but Tony had put a hand on his back, keeping him there. The doctor started to panic. “I need to go.”

Stark shook his head and whispered. “No, you will stay. All will be well, believe me. I know ‘Tasha.” Then he saw her eyes opening, her face showing disorientation and confusion. “The sleeping beauty finally woke up. How are you feeling, red head?”

“Dizzy… Where am I?” Then she noticed who was standing next to her. “Bruce, are you okay?”

It tore his heart in pieces. He nearly killed her and she asked about his well-being. “I’m fine. But you…” He gestured towards her hips.

“It’s okay, Bruce. It wasn’t your fault.” Now she remembered, but that didn’t explain why she was feeling no pain at all. “How long was I out? How did you patch me up?”

Banner couldn’t grasp this. She was brushing it off like… He knew she was hard-core, maybe even had injuries with similar severity before, but still… Trying to cope with what was happening he stayed silent, so Tony stepped in.

“Okay, you want the facts, I’ll give them to you. We found you pretty torn up. You lost a lot of blood, but we were able to keep you alive long enough to bring you here. Thank your birdman for fighting so stubbornly for you. The medical knowledge he lacks he compensates with faith. We first aspirated as much of the radioactive… fluid as we could so your own healing would not be slowed by it. Then we used this little machine on you for about a day.” He tapped onto it. “A good scientist friend of us has developed this miracle maker. It can print pretty much everything.” He saw her confusion. “Yep, 3D printer for skin, muscles, bones, veins.” Tony smiled at her. “We merely needed to keep you alive long enough until you were printed you completely.” Now he laughed. “Cool, I never thought I would be able to say that. If Pepper didn’t exist, I’m sure I would have printed her out too. Imagine the profit. The next step of baking your playboy.”

Natasha rolled her eyes. “Stark…” To escape his torrent of words she looked at Bruce again. “Guess I’m declared as Hulk-proof now.”

Even the absurdity didn’t make him laugh, he just stood there, staring at her. Stark had practically told her that the Hulk had raped her to the point of death, even… released inside of her, and Natasha was merely grasping the facts and accepting them, and continuing with her life as if nothing happened at all.

“Hey,” she tried to soothe him as she lifted her hand to touch his elbow. “You’re getting paler every second.” She gave Stark a short look and he prepared a chair next to the operating table onto which he pushed Banner. “Tony, could you leave us for a moment?”

“‘Kay, I leave you two lovebirds. Gonna tell the other Avengers that you woke up.” And with that he was already out.

“Bruce, please, talk to me. I know this was heavy for you, but…” She started, searching for the right words.

“For me? Nat, I nearly killed you, goddamn!” He swore and shot up, walking around the lab angrily.

Anger was good. She could deal much better with his fury than his shock, even though it seemed absurd. Her eyes analyzed his every movement, the colour of his skin and the tone of his voice. Somehow it felt much easier to talk the Hulk down than Banner. “But you didn’t and that’s what counts now. I’m alive.” She tried to sit up and wondered if he would stop her but the man seemed too distracted with his own thoughts. “None of this is your fault. We were attacked and, had you not transformed, you would be dead right now. It was merely collateral damage…”

“Collateral…? Are you insane?” Banner stood still and turned his head to the side, realizing she was sitting on the table. And she seemed fine, she was alive, saved. He needed to make sure Natasha stayed safe. “We need to break up. I can’t put you in any further danger. It was wonderful and amazing, but we can’t risk your safety.”

“Are you kidding me? Just because of one…” She stopped when he grabbed her shoulders, his bright green orbs piercing her.

“It will happen again and I don’t want to even imagine the consequences.” His voice was dark, but trembling with fear.

Natasha licked her chapped lips, thinking of something clever that would set him right again. “Do you remember anything?”

“Of course not.” He had come to know that the Other Guy’s impressions sometimes mixed with his for a while now, but the Hulk seemed to keep the memories entirely to himself. Then a thought struck him. “Do you?”

“No,” she answered calmly, “the moment you transformed I lost conscious.”

Banner sighed at the small relief. It least she had the bliss of unawareness. Suddenly he was feeling sick, a nausea overpowering him. His face lost all colour as he tried to breathe. “I… I need some fresh air.”

Natasha understood and nodded. “It’s okay.”

The moment Banner stormed out of the room he nearly ran into Clint who entered carefully, holding a package in his hand. “I brought you some clothes.”

“Thanks, Clint.” She said with a forced smile.

“Why was he in such a hurry?” Barton put the clothes on the table and turned the chair around to face away from her as he sat down.

“He’s not good at coping, but he’ll manage.” Before she put on the shorts she risked a short glance between her legs. It felt tender to touch and tingling with newness, but otherwise normal and natural.

“And you? Everything okay so far?” In the corner of his eye he noticed her movements. “Feels strange, hm? But Helen promises it’s organic. So at least you don’t have to put the word cyborg onto the list of what you are.”

“Very sensitive, Barton,” she muttered and put on the clothes while a smile spread on her mouth. Yes, the archer was what she needed right now. Dry humor was something both of them shared, and secrets which could distract her perfectly right now. “You’ve been home. I guess there is a reason why I should not be jealous that you didn’t stay at my bed-side all the time,” she grinned. “Any news?”

“How can you always tell?” Clint asked with a smile.

She pointed at his clothes. “It’s one of your favorite shirts and you stained it during your last visit, leaving it to be washed. So, now tell me. Can I hope for a namesake?” A mischievous grin spread across her lips.

“Her ob-gyn says it’s gonna be a girl.” Clint nodded, pride shining brightly in his eyes.

“Well done. With one boy and soon two little girls you will be entirely outnumbered.” She patted him on the back. “Tell me everything. I need to soak up some good mood before I face Bruce again.” She tried to sound light and easy, but Hawkeye knew better.

“You think you can deal with him?” His voice was full of concern.

Natasha sighed. “I have to. But we’ll get over it. To heal often means more pain than the actual wrongdoing.”

Barton could tell that she was still holding back a secret, but he would fulfill her wish for now. “Wanna have a drink? I don’t like Stark’s fancy stuff at all times. Let’s get out.”

Natasha looked down at the clothes he had chosen for her, what a foresight he had. “I know the perfect pub, just down the road.”

Clint hooked his arm in hers, the gesture not only a friendly turn but also to support her, even though he was sure she didn’t need it.

“So now, tell me everything Laura found out about my little namesake.”

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Later that night Natasha had entered her room in the Avengers tower. She swayed a bit as she undressed. Maybe the last drink had been too much, but somehow she needed it. With a smile on her lips she remembered the ultrasound picture Barton had shown her of her little niece. With a pained sigh she touched her own belly, knowing that it would forever stay flat with all the Red Room had done to her. An absurd thought hit her. The printer they had used to restore her body… She had no detailed description of the damage but she could imagine enough to know that her entrance, cervix and womb must have been torn to pieces. Whatever there had been left they had put together with fabricated tissue and maybe restored her formerly sterile uterus to the point where… No. Natasha did not want to think of that right now. It was a topic that was too much to process while she was so drunk.

But the memory of how the damage was done to her got stronger and stronger in her mind and by the time she was stepping underneath the warm water of the shower she could not block out or overplay what happened with Barton’s funny tales anymore. Natasha closed her eyes because they started to play tricks on her. Shadows stretching to reach out to her, someone shouting at her in Russian to stop crying, to stop being a weakling, while something invaded her body, cold and hard, like metal. Then a loud growl and a terrible weight pressing down on her. Memories, long past and newly made, came crushing upon her. Beatings, shouts, filthy hands touching her, gently fingers caressing her. Both so different, but mixing into something that became the most insanely delicate agony. Yet one thing was alike. The memories broke through the barrier she had set up, as everything concentrated in one single sensation, a burning between her thighs that got fiercer and fiercer until she thought she was on fire while something inside of her expanded and pounded, pounded so wildly she thought her insides were ripped apart, and then… So much, so hot… It hurt like acid, deep inside of her...

Natasha broke down in the bathtub, hugging herself while she tried to stop the sobs. It was becoming more and more difficult to breathe. She wanted to scream, to cry, to forget…

Because she had lied to him. The Black Widow remembered everything the Hulk had done to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Actually it wasn't planed that she remembers it, but... I couldn't resist and now I'm not sure if that isn't maybe a little bit too much. What do you think?


	5. Interesting News

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve had like 12 different versions of how to start this chapter and chose the one that will hurt most (Yeah ^^), and added the ideas that make it even worse, ehehehe, enjoy ^^  
> I wanted to thank the people who supported me on ffnet and archive of our own ^^  
> sandracddy, everfaraway, valevilandra, Cynn3Rose, DENM, kweandee, Autumn_Froste, MMonster, Masha, alandria, AZDragon, Toonksbell32 and EroSlackerMicha, Thank you for your reviews.  
> Especially AZDragon: Yes, it is always wonderful when there is more in a comment than “Like it, please continue.” and the one line reply of “Thank you”. I am always open for a discussion and any ideas you want to see realized ^^

**Chapter 5: Interesting News**

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_Natasha didn’t know how long she had been in this cave since the rock shielded her from any daylight. But her growing belly showed her very clearly that it had been months since the monster had imprisoned her. He wasn’t a brutal abductor, not at all. Every day he brought her food, primitive of course, but her body had grown used to it, nurturing the being inside of her that he had sired. It was the instinct of the male to keep his mate safe and comfortable. At first she had made attempts to escape, but he caught her every time, taking her back to their home and keeping a watchful eye on her. Then she had tried to use her skill-set. Not her fighting expertise, he was stronger than her by far, but her seductive techniques. Yet they worked much better on a human male, so the monster only enjoyed laying beside her, feeling her touch on his body and groaning in delight, but he never loosened his grip on her._

_The Black Widow knew her time was growing short. She had only days until her body would finally seal their bonding with a new life, ready to be born. It was so absurd, she was never created for this. Yet it was happening, and when she felt a blinding pain radiating from her back around her belly, she knew it was too late to outrun her fate. She screamed out loud, the agony too much to simply ignore, her hands gripping her middle tightly while she heard the thunderous steps of her monster approaching._

Natasha awoke from her dream with a pained gasp. The memory, although terrifying and sharp, fled her mind the moment she started to open her eyes. She tried to remember the details, but soon there was only a vague picture left, of the Hulk towering over her.

Since her emotional break-down last night she concluded that it must have been another memory of the Hulk’s outburst that had triggered a brutal dream. She quickly calculated her options. Talking to Bruce was one of it. They needed to settle this and finally be on common ground again. And also she… Her body moved on its own as she made her way to her notebook, typing in her password and finding what she needed easily. Her medical record, the last report containing exactly the injuries that the Hulk had inflicted upon her. And it even made her pale in horror. There had been so many gunshot wounds, so much skin torn open but never anything like this. It was detailed, Helen had made a good work. It was a wonder they could even find any parts of her reproductive organs inside her ripped body. But as far as the record went, they put it all back together. Another thought hit Natasha’s mind while she read through the documentation. Something inside of her sighed in relief as she saw the short remark about ‘Agent Romanoff still being infertile’, and that the ‘procedure could not have enabled her to conceive any living children’.

Natasha had no idea why this thought had panicked her so much. Bruce was a wonderful man, although he had his… difficulties. But the Black Widow was never made to be a mother, so… Her mood changed within a blink. Her hand rested on her belly while she thought about what Clint was able to have. And even though he was just like her, one of the Avengers, he could keep his family a secret and safe. So why was she prohibited from being a mother? It was unfair…

She shook her head, trying to arrange her thoughts again. This was just the stress talking. Her existence had been in danger, that was why she could only think about… leaving something behind.

A few minutes later the Black Widow had changed into her training suit, getting down to the gym to simply beat the thoughts out of her head. She was a logical person. And it was only logical to turn Banner back to where he belonged and was useful for, although he himself had his doubts, even more so now. And for that she needed a clear mind. Training always helped to keep her focused.

But after a few minutes Natasha knew she wasn’t allowed to go as far as she wanted. It wasn’t only the dull pain still present in her lower abdomen, Steve had also joined her, just like almost every time when he stayed at the Avengers tower.

“Good morning, Miss Romanoff. Are you… feeling better?” He didn’t know how to express his fear for her as he had seen the Black Widow’s body torn apart and at the brink of death.

“Of course,” she remarked with a faked smile. “I could use a sparring partner. Interested?”

Steve was unsure at first, but after he watched her beating the punching back to the sixth layer of hell, he relaxed. “Alright.” Then he thought about the whole situation again. “And if you ever need anyone to talk…?”

“Just shut up, Cap. I can handle this. You should know me by now.” She walked towards the mat and prepared herself, her body flexing. “Come on, attack me. With this you can help me the best.”

Steve sighed and readied himself too. “Okay.”

About ten minutes later they were both out of breath, but feeling energetic. It was always good to have a partner with the same skills and strength. The Captain faked a punch towards her head and instead kicked into her side, sending her to the ground. He prepared himself for her standing up within a blink and taking revenge, but Natasha kept lying on the floor, suddenly clutching her belly.

“Oh, shit…” She cursed as the pain blinded her side.

“Miss Romanoff, I’m sorry, I…” He knew a few of her tricks by now. It was not uncommon that she feigned a defeat only to attack when he was vulnerable, yet the Black Widow stayed there, groaning in pain. And he realized that something was wrong.

Natasha coughed a few times while her lungs tried to suck in oxygen. “It’s okay… I just need a minute.”

The Captain was already one step further. “Jarvis, call a doctor, I think…”

“No!” Natasha shouted at him, fear written all over her face. “I’m fine.” Her body was fighting against whatever was wrong with her, she could feel it, the pain centered in her belly and suddenly a memory came back, too quick to grasp it, too absurd to even be real.

Steve used the knowledge he got from his time in the army to check for any severe injuries, careful not to enrage her as he lifted her shirt a little. There was only a slight bruise where he hit her, nothing uncommon. He helped her in a sitting position while she regained her composure. “It’s really okay?”

“Yeah…” Natasha answered with her brows furled in pain.

He didn’t believe her. “Can you stand? Let’s go to the med center.” Before she could even start to protest, he simply picked her up, carrying her himself. His worry grew while she half-heartedly punched against him, incoherent insults leaving her lips, but nothing strong enough to escape his grasp.

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“Bruce you should really take a break. You’ve been staring at that screen for hours now.” Tony expressed his concern carefully. The doctor was very fragile at the moment and whenever his emotions broke through the Hulk surely wasn’t far away.

Banner didn’t even hear him, he kept reading the record of Natasha’s injuries over and over, trying to remember what the Hulk had done to her. He needed clarification, needed to know that Natasha was safe now and unhurt, that the Other Guy didn’t leave a permanent mark upon her, that the emotional and physical wounds were able to heal without scarring. But the more he found out about what happened he knew that the traces would never fade entirely. Bruce wanted to help her, heal her, because he was a doctor, he knew how to treat wounds, but this…

“Hey, buddy, come on. You need to sleep a little. You look like shit.” Tony nudged him, trying to slowly shake Banner out of his thoughts. “Natasha is fine now. You saw yourself. And I’m sure there’s a way the two of you can have a normal relationship. It was an accident that won’t repeat itself when you are careful.”

“She is fine now?” Bruce asked him, entirely lost in his own mind and the gruesome imagination triggered by the words he read. The only thing that mattered was Natasha’s safety, not his own feelings. She must be kept away from him, no, he must stay away from her. A tear rolled down his cheek. He was a monster.

Tony was about to fetch a handkerchief when the door slid open, presenting a gasping Steve and pained Natasha in his arms. “What the…?”

Steve walked towards the table and put her onto it gently. “We were sparring, but I think I might have hit her too hard.”

Stark checked on Banner with a short glance. The man was sitting stock still, fear written all over him while he surely was about to flee once more. Tony arranged his thoughts again, he would deal with Bruce later. Changing into working mode he walked to Natasha, activating a few instruments. “Jarvis, damage report.” While he waited for the AI, Tony checked her body for injuries as his eyes noticed the dark stain on her trousers. Even before Jarvis started talking he knew what was wrong.

“A hard impact has injured her reproductive organs. Knowing about Dr. Helen Cho’s work this should not be possible, but due to the radiation still present inside her abdomen, the tissue became very brittle. Her own healing abilities are already doing a good work on it.”

“You should have taken it easy, Tasha.” Tony scolded her while his fingers wiped over the screen to check her vitals and searching on the three dimensional image of her body for something that needed to be fixed surgically. “Any helpful ideas, Jarvis?”

By now Natasha had regained enough composure to look around, noticing Tony releasing a sigh of relief. Okay, it seems like it wasn’t that bad. Then her eyes found Banner on the other side of the room.

“We extracted as much of the radioactive fluid as we could the last time. There are only traces left which her body should eliminate during the next days. The bleeding has stopped and the tissue has repaired itself. Little to no physical activity until the end of the week is advised.” Jarvis’ voice was calming for all of them but Banner.

Bruce stood up slowly, careful to not wake the Hulk while his mind was in such a turmoil. “I am so sorry, Natasha,” he pressed out while he walked towards her, yet kept a distance. His eyes showed desperation, then determination. “But you don’t have to fear the Hulk anymore. I will take care of you, even if that means…” He didn’t finish, just fled as quickly as he could.

“Bruce? Bruce! Wait!” Natasha jumped down the table, not caring about the burning between her legs while she ran after him. She only knew two options he could have in mind, and she hoped it was the less lethal one, and that she would be able to find him.

“Should we go after them?” Steve asked after a moment of silence.

Tony shook his head. “Better not. They are grown ups. They can deal with stuff like this.”

“Sir, I might have some important information concerning Miss Romanoff, although I can not be sure without a proper scan and maybe a blood test.” The AI spoke up.

“What now?” Tony rubbed his temples. He needed a vacation, a long one.

“Dr. Cho was wrong in her hypothesis about Miss Romanoff’s infertility.” Two 3D images appeared on the screen. “Comparing her womb from before the Hulk incident and from now there are significant changes. According to Cho the uterus should still be sterile, but, as I assume, the radiation has triggered her own body to restart her reproductive organs after repairing them. The tissue looks healthy and ready to conceive.”

Stark looked at the screen with eyes wide open. “Okay… Well, that’s an interesting turn of events.”

Steve didn’t understand entirely. “You mean she can have babies now?”

“Affirmative, Sir Rogers.” The Jarvis’ voice sounded joyful. “Actually, she is ovulating.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BAM! I didn’t want to make them realize this that quickly, but I’m going to send Tasha on a search for Banner, so Stark won’t be able to tell her yet.


	6. Lost and found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I expect the readers to smash their heads against the nearest wall when they read the first part of this. It’s meant to make you laugh and question my sanity.

 

“You wanted to talk to me?” Clint asked as he appeared in the door of the Stark Tower’s med unit.

 

Tony was attacking the keyboard with too much force, clearly showing that something was wrong. “I need you to find Natasha and Banner as quickly as possible. They have no comm or tracker on them and didn’t use transportation from Shield or me. I am currently checking all security cams in New York to find them but that’s like searching a needle in a haystack.”

 

“Why? What did happen?” Clint sat next to him, looking at the tabs still opened on some of the screens.

 

“This.” His eyes never left the search window while his finger pointed at an image on his far right. “Short summary: Natasha can get pregnant now, and I mean right now. And I have no idea what that will do to her.”

 

“What? But I thought Dr. Cho said...”

 

“Oh, forget her. She’s not up to date.” A few pictures appeared on the screen but Tony saw within the first glimpse that it couldn’t be the two of them. He typed a command to widen the perimeters. “Damn, I know that Widow can be difficult to find if she doesn’t want to be seen, but how can Bruce disappear so easily?”

 

“Sir, Dr. Banner’s tests are finished.” Jarvis told him.

 

“What tests? Show’em.” Another window appeared. “Is that…?”

 

Clint resisted the urge to take one step backwards and instead leaned closer to read the text beneath the animated picture of a sperm swimming rapidly. “He tested his own…”

 

“Dr. Banner has shown some foresight with this. While he was alone in the lab he ordered me to analyze what we extracted from Miss Romanoff’s body. Now I can calculate possible outcomes.” It seemed as if the AI watched Stark reading the report closer and finding some disturbing lines. “No, Sir, it is not a typo. Comparing this sperm to a normal human one’s the size is increased by around 400%, also its flagellum isn’t merely a tail, more like a fish fin, making it ten times faster.”

 

Tony groaned in annoyance. “The next step in the evolution of a sperm. I can’t believe it… Don’t tell me it’s also green?”

 

“No, Sir, but I can predict that when even one of these sperms comes only close to a woman’s reproductive organ a pregnancy is inevitable.” To heighten the awkwardness of this moment he also showed a short animation of this actually happening.

 

Stark buried his face in his hands, shaking his head. For once he was at the loss of words.

 

Clint had already overcome his first shock. “Is it possible that Natasha can still conceive with what is… left inside her?”

 

Jarvis calculated for a few seconds. “Going by Dr. Cho’s records Miss Romanoff’s body was cleaned very effectively. There were traces of radioactivity left, but only because it was soaked up by her cells.”

 

Hawkeye sighed in relief. “Okay, next question: Is this sample enhanced because it came from the Hulk? I mean, is it possible that we don’t have to worry about mutated babies when Bruce is the donor?”

 

“I have no records to compare this to. As soon as you find Dr. Banner you could ask him to give a sample.”

 

Only the imagination was enough to make Tony’s head spin once more. “Can this get any worse?”

 

“Sir, I have…”

 

“NO! I have found out more about enhanced wombs and sperms than I ever wanted to know.”

 

Clint felt dizzy after this revelation, but he urged Jarvis to finish his sentence.

 

“If Miss Romanoff and Dr. Banner actually have unprotected sex again within the next two or three days the result could be lethal in his radioactivity. If my calculations are correct the poisoning causes total organ failure within a few weeks, as soon as the zygote is implanted in her womb, maybe even faster if it grows.”

 

“Damn. We need to find them.” While Tony spoke another security camera picture showed up. This time it actually was the Black Widow, entering a terminal in the Grand Central Station. “Track the train down.”

 

“I’m on it.” Clint made his way out. “Inform me as soon as you know more.”

 

Tony merely nodded, turning around again and staring blankly at the screens. “I need a drink.”

 

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Natasha had followed him until he reached Vermont around ten hours later, knowing that if she spoke to him too early he would loose his control over the Hulk, putting civilians in danger. Now they were in a forest close to Burlington at the edge of Lake Champlain. He hadn’t noticed her yet due to the impending darkness of the night.

 

“That’s far enough, don’t you think?” Natasha asked him, her words loud in the silent woods.

 

“Miss Romanoff.” Bruce turned around, looking at his surroundings frantically while he tried to locate the source of her voice.

 

Oh, so we’re back at square one… Carefully, Natasha left her hiding place and walked towards him but stopped when he gestured her to. “Come to your senses. This is stupid. You can’t run away.” When she saw the hurt in his eyes, she realized these were the wrong words to say. “So what do you have in mind now? What do you want to do?”

 

He groaned and shook his head. “Actually, I wanted to get as far away from you as possible.”

 

Her smile was kind and warm as she took another step. “You don’t have to. Bruce, I’m fine, really. We have some things to work out, but it’s not impossible.”

 

"But it is! Don't you understand. After all that happened to me I would never be able to have what was normal for other people."

 

"And you think I am? I'm a spy, trained by some crazy Russian scientist program to become a killer machine. We have both been betrayed by faith, suffering the consequences in all that it entails but we never give up, don't we? We fight on, trying to cling to the little hope we have left to live a carefree life without all the dangers, all the fears," she couldn't believe she was telling him her heart's wish although it was against her better judgment. "But we can't." She saw something breaking inside of him. "But we can make the best out of what was given to us and live with it." Natasha took a step closer, always checking his telltale signs, his eyes, his movements, the way his lungs breathed in the air. "Bruce, please. We can work this out. You don't have to run away from me."

 

"But I want to be with you! That's the point. I can't, so... Natasha, I couldn't just... walk past you with a short greeting. I would..."

 

"...suffer. I know, Bruce. But I know we can have a brighter future if we try hard enough. We just have to take it easy for now, train more so you can control the Hulk and then, maybe," the word slipped out before she could stop herself. In her imagination a lot was reachable. She had been where Banner was now a long time ago, but she had overcome it. Yes, this was different, but it was the same difficulty, and he needed guidance. "We can have what all the others can." She almost added Clint to this, but she knew how to keep this secret by now.

 

"We can't. Just can't!" He emphasized the last word and turned around, trying to get some distance between them while his heart was beating rapidly inside his chest. He knew that his eyes we glowing bright green and he couldn't understand why this wasn't scaring her off.

 

"I am not afraid of the Other. You should have realized that by now," Natasha told him calmly.

 

"But he almost destroyed you in the most gruesome way I can imagine.” He felt sick only thinking about it.

 

"He didn't know better." She couldn't believe she was actually saying this. "He protected me while he brought me to safety. He shielded me until we had reached a save place."

 

"You remember?" He didn't even want to imagine all the pictures and feelings that were still haunting her if she was conscious during the Hulk's assault.

 

"I do." She said solemnly after taking a deep breath.

 

"You lied to me. You... You have... Oh god, Natasha. How can you still have faith in me?" Bruce started to feel the rage boiling inside of him. But the Hulk didn't break out. It was more like he... realized, shocked and afraid of his own doings, shrieking away, back into the depths of Banner's mind, rueful after understanding what his actions had done to Natasha.

 

"I knew it would make everything even more difficult. So I chose to forgive and forget."

 

Bruce turned away trying to avoid her gaze while he felt his own tears running down his cheeks freely. “I am so sorry you had to suffer all this. If I had kept myself in check, if I had never let this happen in the first place...”

 

“Bruce, aren't you listening to me?!” She took a few angry steps towards him until she grabbed his arm, turning him around so he had to face her. “What the Hulk did was an unintended accident and I 'know' he regrets it.” She emphasized the word. “And he wants to make up for it, that's why he didn't come out yet.” In his eyes she knew she was right. “Bruce, what we started here was a wonderful thing, and I enjoyed every moment. Together we can be so much more. We had a good start and you just shy back because it doesn't work for a single moment. It is a stony way we have to walk, but we can walk it together, as a team.”

 

“And that coming from your mouth...” Bruce chocked out, shaking his head. “Natasha, I feel too much for you to use you for these... experiments, for training to control the Hulk.”

 

Natasha's smile was kind and sweet, no hint of a lie there. “That's not all, and you know that.”

 

Something inside him broke and was put together as she closed the distance between them and kissed him gently. It was so genuine and loving that he felt his knees weakening. He gave into a tender embrace while he returned the kiss with all his heart. He couldn't fight his own feelings any longer. He was a rational person, able to betray his body, but never his soul. “I love you...” He breathed into the kiss.

 

Natasha smiled against his lips. Finally. She yearned to deepen this connection, but she knew he wasn't ready, at least not yet. “My love, please, let's find a place to sleep and then we will talk again in the morning.” She felt him shaking at the word 'sleep'. “No, not that. Just resting. Come on, let’s look for a hotel in the near city. We’ll find our death out here if we stay over the night without equipment.”

 

“I can’t get close to people. I might...” He wanted to continue but she pushed her fingers onto his lips.

 

“He won't appear while I am there. He trusts me, and so should you.” She gave him another quick kiss before pulling him out of the darkness, or so she hoped.

 

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The moment Bruce awoke he didn't know where he was. The bed was warm and the sheets smelled fresh and also so much of … He bolted upright and looked around while his eyes tried to adjust to the sudden light. Natasha was lying next to him, entangled in the sheets and a carefree smile on her face. So he relaxed instantly, finally remembering what happened last night, which was actually not that much. Natasha had found a hotel in Burlington, very close to the lake. He could see the water through the curtains, and the life out there, calm and peaceful.

 

He wondered if he could get her something for breakfast. The urge to take care of all her needs was very strong in him now. Last night had been another step towards taming the Hulk, even if it was a minor one. And the hope grew that he might be able to get all this under control again. And when, not if, when, that was possible, he wanted her there with him.

 

Natasha had been awake a while longer than him but she decided to stay quiet and keep the façade of her sleeping self, just to know how he might react now. And it wasn't far from what she expected. He had been shocked during the first seconds but then calmed down again. Right now he was definitely plotting something, something that wasn't dangerous, far from it. Something sweet. She felt the sheets beside her move as he got up. Quickly putting on his clothes while he left the bedroom. He wouldn't go far away and she smiled at the thought of him actually... Only minutes later the door opened again and she heard dishes rattle. That was the moment to officially wake up.

 

“Good morning,” he said gently in his deep voice while he sat the tray on the bed next to her.

 

Natasha opened her eyes slowly, a kind smile on her face while she looked him in the eyes which were full of hope. “Hello, there.”

 

She was fine. He had not dared to check yet, not sure if hadn't somehow... Bruce didn't even want to imagine. “You okay?” he asked carefully.

 

“Of course. Bruce, honey, please. Whatever you think you are, there is so much more, so much that outweighs what you think is so monstrous inside you.” For a moment she saw hurt, regret, then hope and wishes. Yes, that was a good place to start. “Thanks for the breakfast. Oh, exactly what I like.” She looked at the collection he picked out before making space for him next to her.

 

It was so carefree sitting there with her in bed. He even dared to feed her with a strawberry which made her laugh and give him these eyes of hers, that promised so much. Not only lust, he even tried to ignore that part for now, it was that assurance of a happy future without fear. They merely did smalltalk, no word about the Hulk or Shield or what they could never have in their lives. It felt so normal, as if there was nothing to worry about. He wished this morning would never end.

 

Natasha had been the first to use the shower. While she stood under the warm water she allowed herself a moment to dream about what might be. Banner was a smart and kind man. Yes, he had his troubles, big ones, but they could manage them, in time. Also... It was somehow funny that she had settled with the, or so it had seemed at first, only man who wasn't interest in her sexually. Of course there had always been a tiny spark, as was in any man, but he had shut off so completely after what he and his girlfriend went through that it had never been an option for him. And she, the Black Widow with her skill set... It was almost ironic that the two of them had found together.

 

“I assume you don't want to get back any time soon. I have planned something,” she pointed at the phone as Banner walked out of the bathroom rubbing his hair dry.

 

“And what might that be?” Now he was curious.

 

“Oh, just a little trip to enjoy the nature and a little bit of sightseeing. I called in a few favors. Also,” she checked her purse, “I want to stop at a pharmacy or a shop.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I want some condoms.” She saw him pale at that. “Just in case. I only want to be ready and it will make you feel more at ease.” She was mostly doing this for him. With her enhanced body she could withstand the poisoning for a few times, but she also knew that he wouldn't even touch her that way if he knew there was a risk.

 

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“Natasha's credit card shows that they have checked in last night. A hotel in Burlington, Vermont. Seems like she got some sense into him again.” Tony stated while he put some commands into the computer.

 

“That's good, isn't it? I mean, the news didn't tell us about any incident during the hours, so...” Steve wasn't entirely sure until he had visual sight, still not used to this technological age.

 

Tony already knew about his doubts so when he clicked onto some files he had just downloaded, all of them could see Bruce and Natasha entering the lobby of the Hilton. “They are still in their room. Shall I ready the jet?”

 

“No,” Clint said sternly. “I believe she is still working on him. And we should respect that. Nat has all means to contact us but she hasn't, for a reason. Let's wait until they come back.”

 

“But you know what is...” Tony wanted to remind him about the special circumstances again, but was shut up by a mere gesture of Hawkeye's hand.

 

“We will wait. Natasha is not that stupid, and Bruce is still terrified of his actions. They won't do anything harmful until he is at ease with himself again. Follow their trail, that should be enough for now.”

 

“Birdman, they booked a hotel room with only one bed.” Tony stated but Clint still shook his head. “Okay, we'll wait.”

 

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. I hope you like photographs I added on AO3 into the chapter. That was me many many years ago when I went to America the second time in my life. More will come, especially from Bannerman castle, yep, it's called that XD I want them to have a very romantic moment there in the next chapter when Bruce feels more at ease with her. I have the whole picture set on tumblr, search for the tag “Vermont” in any of my accounts. http://lokicosplaymonkishu.tumblr.com/post/122619003171/mon-kishu-in-the-usa-2004-references-for-my


	7. Somewhere Only We Know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to see the castle I mentioned here, take a look at the pictures I took a couple of years ago when I was in America.  
> http://lokicosplaymonkishu.tumblr.com/post/122619003171/mon-kishu-in-the-usa-2004-references-for-my
> 
> Thanks, Autumn_Froste for helping me with this chapter.  
> I am not a fan of physical contact and in the recent months I started to despise intimacy in general, rejecting it. And so I could not finish this chapter. She wrote most of the actual sexual things where I left off (I already wrote about 1/3 of the smut a while ago but I simply couldn't finish). And I added feelings, especially about the Hulk.

Having contacts seemed to be convenient. They traveled without difficulties and never spent more than a day in one place, moving on quickly. But it was nice. A lot nature and a little shopping for supplies.

Bruce couldn't believe it, but... they had only been traveling, no contact further than touching a shoulder, holding a hand or giving a short hug as a thank you. And he loved it. The carefree behavior, the openness, the friendly love she gave him, showing him that it didn't have to be that much, but that it could be. Only when he was ready. Even the Hulk was silent during a time like this, enjoying the peaceful life she was offering them.

“We should come to the pinnacle of our little adventure,” she told him with a smile while she gave the boat owner money to rent it for the day.

Banner only nodded unsure of what to say, what to ask while another person was still around. He trusted her by now and knew that she could be ambiguous, but never overstepped the invisible line he had drawn. She grazed it, yes, but never too far, never for him to reject.

And yes, she was right. The waves against the boat were calming while they drove up the Hudson River, merely enjoying the untouched nature that presented itself whenever they left an area humans had settled down at. Yes, this was the perfect place let the Hulk free…

“So you know,” She said cautiously optimistic. She sensed his fear about the entire matter.

“Natasha, you can't do that. I am far too dangerous.” He shook his head although she couldn't see it.

“I know you now, and I know the Hulk. He fears for you, for you being hurt or scared, but... He is still like a child. Only wanting to protect you but not exactly knowing where the dangers are. That's why you had so many problems the first time having sex. The Hulk felt your increased heartbeat, but by now he knows more, he can feel more, and he'll know.” She felt him shiver. “Even if he thinks you are in danger, he knows you love me,” she said the words so simply, so truthfully that he couldn't object, telling her all she needed to know. “And he will never hurt me again the way he did. He knows your feelings about it now. I'm sure he would back off.” She turned around, giving him a smile, hiding all her doubts. At least no bullets out of nowhere had to be expected, so that was already a plus.

“Natasha...” Banner could barely speak, not knowing how to form the words after she had talked down all his fears.

“We will reach an island soon; with a nice old castle on it. I have equipment to camp there.” She pointed at a couple of large bags. “We'll stay over the night.” She informed him and concentrated on maneuverings the boat. Trying not to show that she noticed his uncertainty, Natasha added some trivia to occupy his mind with. “Oh, and by the way, it's called Bannerman Island. Kinda funny considering…” she looked at him and smiled as she trailed off. “Around 1900 the Scottish namesake Francis Bannerman VI designed this to be a storage unit for the nearby army base and also built this beautiful castle. It already has a whole lot of explosions and destruction on its back. I think it can stand the Hulk.”

Bruce chuckled, not knowing how to comply, being totally happy not to while concentrating in what she might to do to him tonight.

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She had not taken advantage yet and he was grateful for that. They had made a little tour across the island, looking at all its hidden secrets and beautiful architecture. The castle itself was old and grandiose, but overgrown by nature, as if mother earth herself wanted the place back yet still kept a few things as they were, as if to reminiscence. It was calm and free of human life he could harm.

They hauled all the gear from the boat to the island.

“Did you have a particular spot already picked out,” Bruce asked.

“Actually,” Nat smiled at him, “I do.”

Bruce chuckled, “I should’ve known not to doubt you. Well, lead on.”

She lead him to a spot in the outskirts of the castle where part of the roof had caved in. They were mostly protected from the weather and any onlookers that may wander onto the island on all four sides but there was a hole in the ceiling that was the perfect size for campfire smoke to exit and they were still able to see out of and stargaze. They sat down their supplies and began making camp. The camouflage coloring already told him that their equipment was military grade. Practical, robust and fast. Natasha quickly prepared their sleeping accommodations while Bruce arranged a fireplace with leftovers of their predecessors.

Bruce looked around at their campsite and then his eyes fell on her. “How did you ever find this place?”

“After I joined SHIELD, Clint and Phil brought me here to get away from the rigmarole. There were certain people that weren’t exactly happy that they’d let an ex-Russian spy join up. They were even less happy when I beat their scores in everything and set the bar for everything so high it was practically untouchable. So these assholes kept trying to prank me. I’m sure you can figure out how well that worked out. While we were gone, Fury gave them Hell and showed them what it was like to be trained like I was. Then he sat them down while they were crying, Maria’s words,” Natasha smirked, “and showed them the security videos from my daily training schedule that I’d set for myself. He told them that the next day they were doing that. They were even less happy. After that there were fewer problems and more respect. I had fun camping with Clint and Phil while I was gone. It was a twofer bonus for me.”

Bruce laughed. “Fury must really like you.”

“Phil said he did. We were told to go on our mini-vacation to make sure we weren’t on base when Fury’s plan went down. Nick was tired of everyone else’s whiny bullshit at the very least. He got tired of them trying to oneup me and then failing miserably. I guess he thought if they had a taste of what I’d been through they’d understand why I was as good at my job as I am.” She shrugged, “Besides, it’s not like I can’t fault him for it since it seemed to work. Now as Director, Phil uses it to weed people out. Not necessarily the physical part, but for the empathy.”

“Let’s get some firewood,” Nat said. Bruce nodded. She continued her story as they walked around gathering wood. “A while after that Fury admitted he liked me, which was a big deal, to me at least. He even did it in front of people. He used me as an example, that I told him straight up what the situation was and I didn’t sugar coat it. I was floored.” Nat turned to head back to camp. “He was always a hard read, but for him to say that in front of other people and mean it… It was nothing short of a miracle. I found it,” she scrunched her eyebrows in thought, “odd. Later I found him by himself and handed him my gun. I told him if he wanted me dead all he had to do was ask.” Bruce’s eyes shot up to hers. Bruce almost dropped his wood at his feet instead of next to the supplies, unlike Nat who sat it down with ease.

She sat on one of the unrolled oversized sleeping bags, “Bruce, you act like you’re the only one who’s ever reached the end of their tether. When Clint… collected me, I was tired.” Nat got a faraway look in her eyes. Bruce straightened up his pile of wood before he sat next her on the bag facing her. From there on he watched Natasha’s face very closely as she told more of her story, “I was tired of how everything was while I was in Russia, from the orders, the punishments, just the existing. Hell, I’d gotten to the point where I just didn’t care anymore. I think Fury just liked that I wasn’t afraid of him. After already seeing the worst of people for so many years, he was a breeze,” she looked up at Bruce and smiled, “besides he’s a big teddy bear, you just need to know how to hold him.”

Bruce stared at her, “Nat, you are the only person I’ve ever heard refer to Fury as a teddy bear.”

She shrugged, “We both have the same philosophy.”

“And what’s that,” Bruce scoffed.

“If you’re going to lie to me, at least have the decency to be good at it.”

Bruce smirked, “Is that why you give Steve so much shit for it?”

She bit her lip and looked coyly up at him, “Partly. Mostly because it’s fun and I can.”

Bruce laughed, loud and joyously. It was a sound Natasha hadn’t heard in a long time. She was relieved to hear it and she reveled in the sound. She smiled broadly.

He reached over and moved a strand of stray hair that had fallen out of her ponytail and into her eyes behind her ear. “Do you know how beautiful you are when you smile?”

“Do you know how handsome you are when you laugh?” He looked down at the ground and smiled shyly.

She scooted up on her knees to get a better height on him and tangled her fingers in his salt and pepper locks. She slightly tugged at them until he gazed at her.

“Tasha…”

She put her index finger over his mouth in a shush manner. “Just do what you feel comfortable with, Doc.” She leaned over and lightly kissed his lips.

He gently returned the intimacy while she deepened the kiss. He ran one of his hands up and into her hair, pulling it out of her pony tail. Her long strands brushed his other hand which was sitting lightly on her ribs. She slowly slid one of her hands down to the back of his neck. This time it was he who deepened the kiss, his tongue massaging against hers. She moaned into his mouth. He felt himself instantly harden. He tugged her to him until she was sitting in his lap. In no time he had one of his hands moving from her ribs and down her back. He moved her shirt so he could run his hand up her back then back down before he gently rested it on the skin right above her ass. His other hand left her hair and slid up to the front of her shirt. He cautiously stroked her skin with his thumb. It was silkier than he’d imagined. His hand climbed up to her breast which was encased in a soft lacy bra. He gently pulled her breast out of the cup. He rubbed his thumb over the tip of her nipple.

“Take your shirt off,” he commanded.

Nat raised an eyebrow and complied. As soon as she got her tank-top high enough over her head, he wrapped his lips around her exposed nipple. She cried out, her centre grinding against his cock.

He groaned, loving how she felt in his arms. He unhooked her bra and threw both the it and the shirt toward the other sleeping bag. He picked her up and laid her down on the bag. Instinctively her legs wrapped around his waist. Bruce kissed her, running his tongue over her lower lip, lightly biting it. He kissed, licked and sucked down her neck.

“Bruce…” she whimpered. He smiled against her skin. “Feels so good.”

“Tasha…”

She reached up and grabbed his shirt, pulling it over his head, “There. Now we’re equal,” she bit her lip as she looked up at him.

She’d caught him off guard, but he soon found he didn’t mind. He loved the way his skin felt against hers. He put weight on one arm and gazed down at her, “Natasha, I-- I’m so lucky to have you.”

She ran her fingers along his jawline, “Not as lucky as I am to have you, Doc.” She tilted her head up and met his lips with hers. He felt her fingers dance along his back down to his behind where she squeezed as she moaned into his mouth. She finally pulled away, breathless. “You know, for a guy who doesn’t really work out, you have an amazing ass.”

He chuckled, “It’s the walking and the yoga.”

“Is that your secret?”

“One of them.”

“You have more,” she asked.

“Uh huh,” he said, agreeing with her. “You’re gonna find out some more as soon as I get your pants off.”

She raised an eyebrow, “I like where this is going.”

“You know what,” he said as he leaned back so he could unfasten and take off her jeans, “I do, too.” He quickly had her pants and underwear off. He always thought she was beautiful, but now she was really his. More importantly she wanted to be his. He leaned back over her body, keeping most of his weight on his arms. She jerked slightly as he nipped the spot between where her neck and shoulder met. He gently squeezed one breast while he worshiped the other with his tongue.

“Bruce,” she panted, “Fuck!”

He smiled against her skin, “Don’t worry, we’ll get there.” He slowly slid her hand over her stomach and into her pussy, reaching her clit first, he used the pad of his finger to make little circles. She raised her hips to encourage him on, “More,” he asked.

She nodded, “Please.”

This was a side of Natasha he’d never seen. She always seem to be so in control and she was giving it up to him, even after everything she was trusting him. Bruce decided he had to be one of the most special people on the planet. He felt his heart swell.

“Bruce? You okay?”

He hadn’t realized he’d paused for so long. He nodded, “Better than okay.” He kissed the scar that Winter Soldier left her in Odessa, then her hip. He slid his index finger in her slit. She gasped as he began thrusting it slowly in and out of her. Bruce groaned at her wetness. He couldn’t stop himself anymore. Losing all his control he let his primal instincts take over, giving them the reigns. Only vaguely he saw himself wandering lower until he could smell her arousal. He breathed in her scent, the desire getting stronger. The Hulk was still purring, entirely happy with watching and feeling what he experienced. The doctor’s breath ghosted over her center making her moan loudly. Her hands buried themselves into his hair, dragging him closer to the place that ached so much. Bruce let himself go. His face pressed against the apex of her thighs while his tongue explored, licking, finding the places she liked him to touch. The struggle inside of him, not a fight against the Hulk, no, not at all. He wanted more, so much more, but he was sure it would shatter him.

“Bruce,” she cried out. He was suddenly met with a face full of juices which he gladly licked up, enjoying every drop. He looked up at her. She was breathing hard, completely wrecked. Bruce grabbed his shirt off the adjacent sleeping bag and wiped his face off. He lowered her hips and leaned over, kissing her gently. “That was amazing.”

He smiled, “You done?”

“Hell no. You?”

Bruce palmed himself, a little shy with a blush on his cheeks. God, he was so hard he could barely control himself. “What do you think?”

“I’m ready when you are.” Natasha didn't want to admit how much her heart was pounding. Yet, the danger, the adrenaline was addicting. This man was a drug and he didn’t even know it.

“Natasha…” Bruce shook his head. He couldn’t believe it. The need grew so strong it became painful. He felt the Hulk inside him trying to push him forward, but he couldn’t… could he?

“Relax,” She whispered, already close to him, her arms over his shoulders, hugging him gently, before pressing a kiss against his temple. “You lead it this time. I trust you, completely.”

Before he knew it she was guiding him down with her onto the sleeping bag. So willing and open for him. His trousers were unbearably tight and the world started to spin around him. The moment he decided to stop resisting was like flipping a switch. Everything paled in comparison to the beautiful woman beneath him. She was what he needed, the epitome of his salvation. Bruce didn’t even realize his hands tearing open the trousers. The only thing he felt was utter bliss and the purring of the Hulk deep inside of him. Yes, Natasha was right. He wouldn’t hurt her. They wouldn’t hurt her. He almost cried, the need and longing in her voice making him lightheaded. “Natasha…,” he gasped as he rose, his body more than ready. “But, I…” Bruce wanted to say the words, but couldn’t. Then he felt her fingers entwine with his, giving him something. He looked at it in confusion at first, then realizing what it was. Protection. He tore the packet open and sheathed him inside of it without a second thought. This time he wouldn’t hurt her. The knowledge made him sigh in relief and almost chuckle. She had planned all this. Natasha knew what she was doing. So that he could let himself go. He checked for the Hulk. Not sure if he was fine with this. The nod he gave her was an expression from both of them, Bruce and the Other Guy. Finding a path the three of them could walk on without any damage.

Natasha locked her legs around his hips while he positioned himself. “I trust you.”

“I love you.” He answered as he leaned over her, their lips almost touching while his tip pressed against her entrance.

She lost herself in the blazing green of his eyes, her body relaxing, accepting, as she waited for him to unite them both.

“Good.” He teased her by rubbing the head of his cock over her clit several times until she shot him a warning look which in turn he smiled at. She bit her lip as he slowly eased into her. “You okay?”

“Better than okay,” she said returning his earlier remarks. She rocked her hips up to meet his easy thrusts.

“Tasha,” he groaned. Her body, so warm and tight, melted perfectly with his own.

She looked up innocently at him, “What?”

“You’re killing me here.”

“Go faster then.”

He picked up the pace, “Is this what you wanted?” He felt her begin to meet his thrusts. One of his hands drifted to her ass, his fingers digging into her flesh. His primal instincts told him to mark her as his. His mate. Mine. Ours. He buried his head in her neck, biting and sucking on her shoulder. “Mine,” he growled.

She loved the possessive side he’d been showing, “Yours. All yours,” she whispered in his ear. “Bruce!” she moaned loudly, “There! Right there!” He drew back so he could thrust harder. She looked into his eyes, seeing them flash in between green and brown. She ran her nails down his back as her walls tightened around his cock.

“Fuck, Nat!” He felt himself topple over the edge right after she did. The Hulk inside him roared at the pleasure coursing through the body they shared. And there was something else. As if the other guy knew that something was odd. It felt wrong to waste himself into the condom. His primal instincts told him the mating was not complete but that did not damp the intensity of his release. His mind went blank as pure bliss washed through him. He laid on top of her for a few moments trying to catch his breath. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” He pulled out of her and tied off the condom. He threw it aside and laid back down beside her, snuggling as close as he could. She ran her fingers through his curls and pulled him to her, slowly kissing him. “I’m yours, huh?”

Bruce smiled shyly, “I guess technically, you’re ours.”

“I can do that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the reviews I got for this fanfic in the last months. Seeing that people are interested in it makes me want to continue. ^^


	8. It's a process

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nat and Bruce spend a little time in their own little world before returning to the Avengers who have news for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating for so long but I had some troubles in real life and also prioritized my WinterWidow fanfic. This here is a little bit of a mix of moments because I want to continue with the plot so I have more motivation to write. Thank you, Autumn_Froste for beta.

 

It was midnight at the east coast and the cloudless sky allowed the stars to illuminate the almost untouched nature that now housed the two lovers. The Hulk had remained in his form, his muscles shielding Natasha from the cold and whoever dared to intrude their privacy. She slumbered in his embrace without any signs of fear. And the Hulk hoped his presence would also keep away the nightmares that plagued her since she was old enough to remember her dreams.

The Other Guy hummed happily while his mate was asleep, getting the rest she needed now more than ever. They had let him out over the past few days and he had been able to suppress the urge to destroy. It was a new and wonderful feeling to hold the tiny hand of his mate in his huge one as they strolled over the island in peace rather than destruction.

She didn't fear him; and he had tried to make up for the pain he had inflicted upon her that day he lost control and nearly killed her. Her warm, soothing voice had been a balm as she spoke to him about random things, teaching him the words while he tried to repeat them. He failed most of the times but her laughter was not discouraging, it was kind and hopeful. She had taught him so much today and he was eager for the sun to rise so they could try again. The Hulk knew that their joyful time had to end soon but she promised him he could have her forever, they were so alike, seen so much, done so much they now regretted. She had a way that made him look forward instead of back to all his wrongdoings.

The female moved against him, pulling his large arm closer and he gladly moved it until his hand rested on her belly as gently as he could. Only his weight could be enough to hurt the life inside her. A life both of them had created. He could smell it now much clearer than the past days they spent on the island. His host would be able to describe it much better. Bruce was science and calculations. He was merely thought and instinct, but he knew the... thing had now finished nesting itself inside of her and started to grow and multiply rapidly. Natasha's scent had changed because of that. There was now a heavy sweetness around her, overpowering the sharp mint and mixing with the earthy tones that was her main scent and what had drawn him to her in the first place.

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Blinking she awoke to the Other Guy's broad smile. "Good morning," she said and stretched her limbs.

"Goud morwning," the Hulk managed to express and the cheerful grin she gave him in return filled him with warmth and hope. "Ungry?"

"Oh, yes, I'm famished." She reached for her bag without leaving his embrace. "I think I have a few rations left, but we're about to run out of food and fresh water."

"Unting?" He made a movement with his hand as if he threw a spear.

"No, my Love, I think it's time to go home." Before shadows could overpower his features she quickly added, "We can make another trip whenever we choose, but right now I think Tony misses his Bruce. You and Bruce need to work out a schedule of when you switch. Though first of all we need to settle a few things back home. The others are probably worried."

The Hulk nodded in agreement. It seemed logical. "Sweet gurl," he murmured, "Knows so much. So kint to Bruce and Hulk."

Natasha laughed and nestled closer. Just like Bruce Hulk ran warm and she enjoyed snuggling up to him, especially after being cold most of her childhood. He was making good progress with his speech. with every word he spoke the syllables were pronounced more clearly.

"Bruce make food? Break-dinner?"

"It's called breakfast" she reached up and brushed her fingers through his hair, "and yes, that would be wonderful." She kissed him on the cheek and was almost sure she saw a slightly pink hue on his skin that wasn't part of the transformation.

With a groan the Hulk started to shrink until a shivering and panting Bruce was left on the blanket. He gave a her a lopsided grin while his eyes tried to adapt. "Good morning."

"Morning." She gave him a kiss on the same spot and saw his confusion over something. Banner was by now able to remember more and more of what the Hulk had done. The calmer the Other Guy was the more made it through the transition.

They talked and evaluated the Hulk's progress while heating up water. "So, you really think it's safe to also let him out in more... populated areas?"

"Yes, I think we should first try it in a secured room in the tower where we can be undisturbed. And then we'll go from there." She explained while opening two packages and filling them with water. Oh, how she longed for bacon right now. All the instant food and oatmeal had gotten boring after the first three days in the wilderness.

"So, I am correct when I conclude that you want to go home again today?" He asked, not really sure how he felt about it. The doctor could almost taste the bitterness the Hulk had towards this thought. The Other Guy had enjoyed the time so much and had never really been around other people except for Natasha the past week without causalities. They would continue on this path but merely change scenery, Bruce assured himself, and with that also the Hulk.

"Yeah, I'll give Barton a call now and tell him to send one of Stark's jet to our coordinates. We'll leave the boat here for now. My contact will pick it up later this week." She pulled her phone from the bag when something made her grin. "We're also running out of condoms," she added which made him laugh. "So you're okay with this?"

"Yes. I have a lot of new input about the Other Guy that I want to write down." He murmured, lost in his own thoughts.

The rest of the meal they spent in silence and almost on cue the jet appeared in the distance.

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The ride home was quick; less than 20 minutes later they landed on the tower's helipad.

"Ready to get back to the usual routine?" She asked while shutting down the engines.

"If that also includes our evening activities I will gladly fall back into routine." Bruce answered with a grin that made her heart beat faster. "Natasha?"

"Hmm?"

"Run with me," he whispered hotly against her neck.

She felt a pleasant shiver running through her entire body at his words. "As far as you want."

"Together," he said before giving her one last passionate kiss.

Almost the entire team awaited them on the balcony. Natasha squeezed Bruce's hand tightly before they exited.

Tony's first few words took them by surprise. "Please, don't tell me you've had unprotected sex during the first few days after you ran away."

"No, we're not stupid, horny teenagers." Natasha told him soberly, unsure why this stressed him that much. "Why?"

Clint stepped in before Tony could enrage her, or Banner for that matter. "Helen made a mistake in her report. Jarvis found out that you actually can get pregnant now. Also, if your body works at least a little bit like a unenhanced human one, tell me you've had your cycle."

Her breathing stopped for what felt like ages until she was able to fill her lungs again. "I think… I have. Bruce and I were using condoms, and still I spotted this morning. There could have been no damage. I already wondered why this happened." She murmured lost in thought, adding the corrected medical report to her to do list for later.

Everyone was heaving a sigh of relief while they entered the lounge area. Natasha had left Bruce's side to talk to Barton about the missions he had finished without her.

"Bruce, if you have a minute, we really need to discuss your super sperm, so that I can finally erase those horror pictures from the harddrive." Tony almost dragged Bruce away to the R 'n D floor.

"Super sperm?" Banner cocked an eyebrow. "You saw my test results? What did it show?"

"You have a very aggressive little army, my friend, and when I say 'little', I mean that in comparison to a normal man's 'microscopic' army." Tony bristled. "That sperm looks like it jumped right out of a horror movie."

When they reached their destination Jarvis had already darkened the room and pulled forth the images as holograms. "Wow," was Banner's first word.

"Yeah, couldn't have said it better myself. Reminds me of _Jaws_." Tony chewed his lip while he waited for Bruce's next comment.

"They are extremely... effective." Bruce moved his hands through the air, pulling up charts. "I wonder if they transform with me or if that is my usual…" He didn't say the last word, couldn't find one anyway.

"Well, if you ever want to compare them, feel free to but better leave me out of it. I've seen enough about your and Romanoff's reproductive organs for the rest of my life." He joked as he pulled forth another diagram that had the Black Widow's name on it.

A couple of looks were enough for Bruce to conclude, "So she really can get pregnant now?"

"Seems that way. Cho's machine and your radioactive substances were the mix needed to give her back this ability." He pulled up a calendar. "Considering her hormones work the same way they do for a normal woman, I would keep my distance this week."

Bruce nodded while his main focus lay on the holograms. "So she can really produce viable eggs? I mean she could have a cycle but that doesn't necessarily mean she can conceive."

Tony saw the hopeful glint in his friend's eyes and was speechless for a moment. "So you're actually considering knocking up Widow?"

"Don't say it like that, Tony." Bruce chided him. "Quite frankly I'm still wondering when you and Pepper are ready to bring a new Stark into the world."

"Don't stray from the topic. You really want to have kids?" Tony asked again and this time the worry in his tone reached Banner.

Stark was right. They had to research this before attempting anything. If his Hulk genes could be passed on to the next generation this might put the child at risk, and also Natasha. "Jarvis, you've got the DNA of both me and Natasha in your databanks. Please give me a couple of variations of both combined. Main focus are the gamma levels and the super soldier serum Natasha has in her blood."

"Right away, sir." Jarvis did as instructed and showed them ten holograms of adults with charts next to them.

Bruce was taken aback for a moment. He was seeing hypothetical children of his and Natasha here. When he had ordered Jarvis to run the calculations he hadn't expected to... They looked so real. And they could be... Bruce shook his head to clear his mind and mustered the holograms from the scientific angle.

Jarvis explained for them. "The Red Room serum seems to be stronger in the female offspring. Combining both your gamma-laced genes and her enhancements is a very difficult task. I can predict their strength and abilities as adults, but I would need references from the parents' childhood to come up with enough information for the gestation and time from baby to adolescent."

"How big is the probability for the offspring to be able to transform like I do?" Bruce wanted to know.

"The more gamma-related, for the lack of a better term, genes the child has the higher the chance. Transformation is possible at above 80%. Same goes for Miss Romanoff's side concerning her enhancements," the AI explained.

"And what about a child with 50% from both sides? Can a balance create something more... human?" Bruce's voice was strained.

"That is a possibility, albeit a very low one. Children with enough from both sides are bound to be extremely intelligent and powerful concerning physical strength. The chance for a child to be like this is one out of three."

"Well, that doesn't sound so bad." Stark commented while looking mostly at the female range on the left side."

"Tony, are you seriously checking out my daughters?" Somehow that made it even more awkward. With a hand movement he dismissed the holograms.

"What? Don't blame me for their good genes," Tony chuckled while he made a protective gesture.

"Cradle-Robber," Bruce murmured before taking up a pen and piece of paper to write down a few notes. "Tony, I want you to keep quiet for now about this subject until I can work out a way to…" He didn't even know if he could say it out loud. Become a father? It wasn't something he could have ever hoped to achieve with his genes, but now... since his enhancements could be blocked by Natasha's...

"I will need to analyse a sample of me in human form. Maybe my side of the genes can be lower like that. Jarvis, with the information you have so far can you predict the gestation inside a woman's body?"

"That was one of the reasons we were concerned after receiving the results of your tests, Dr Banner. Rapid growth the more the child is laced with Hulk-marked genes. Even Miss Romanoff's enhanced body would not have been able to cope. In the worst case scenario in which the embryo or fetus is capable of transformation even before it's born, Miss Romanoff could already be dead due to radioactive poisoning and internal bleeding."

Bruce tried to breathe but his lungs wouldn't let him. He stood frozen. Just like before he thought about running away, about protecting Natasha by leaving her. But not again. He had promised. The doctor swallowed before speaking. "I will give you a sample later to run the same calculations again."

"In-vitro fertilization could be an option." Tony threw into the discussion.

"You mean you choose the sperm that doesn't glow in the dark and has the least threatening appearance." Bruce asked with a half-grin.

"Yeah, pretty much like that." Stark put his hand on Banner's shoulder. "You'll work out a way. But make sure Romanoff is willing, too." He joked before giving Bruce some to time think about what they had just learned. "I'll be downstairs at the bar. Join me whenever you like or give me a shout when you need help. I need to drown those sperm snapshots deep beneath a bottle of gin."

"Are you sure you won't be daydreaming about my daughters."

"When I start doing that, I look at the sperm again and rethink my life's choices."

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The whole tower was already asleep as Natasha lay awake with a StarkPad on her lap. Bruce slumbered beside her while she checked on her medical record. The results were right in front of her yet still she couldn't believe it. Since the moment the Red Room doctors had laid hands on her she had this constant knowledge of not being able to become a mother, but now…

Bruce hadn't told her much about the talk he had with Stark today but she knew he was daydreaming about the possibility. Yet both of them had decided that kids weren't something they wanted at this stage of their relationship. So a condom would be their routine until they had worked out another way, or decided otherwise. With a sigh she put the notebook on the bedside table and snuggled closer to Bruce who slung an arm around her in his sleep.

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Two days later the Hulk was finally confident enough to be around other people than Natasha. He was now sitting on the floor with crossed legs, similar to how Bruce sat when he meditated. It made him look much less frightening and more comical.

Natasha stood by his side as the door to the gym opened. Cautious and with their fight or flight instincts on haywire the others entered.

Natasha felt how the Hulk's grip on her hand tightened just a tiny fraction. He was so gentle with her but that couldn't mute his distress. She waited until the others stopped in front of them before she looked up at the Hulk's face and nodded.

"Hello, my…" The monster's deep voice rumbled as he searched for the word. "... friends."

Eyes and mouths opened wide the others merely stared at first because they finally regained their ability to speak.

Tony, of course, was the first. "Hey, Big Guy. What's up?" He even allowed himself to chuckle as he took in the awkward image of the Hulk doing yoga.

"'Pleasure to talk to you." The Hulk greeted.

"Thanks for saving my ass when I fell out of that Chitauri wormhole." Tony reached out his hand. Damn, that man was brave.

The Other Guy nodded it agreement and shook the hand as gently as he could. Everyone still heard Stark's suppressed groan of agony.

Thor was next. The handshake didn't bother him as much as it had Stark. "You are a fearless and powerful fighter, my friend. It is an honor to finally speak to you."

"Sorry for punching you into the wall when we fought together." The Hulk said with much more strain. The words were difficult and sounded like he had rehearsed this sentence.

"All forgiven and forgotten, my friend." Thor said with his typical wide grin.

Soon afterwards they all sat on the floor in a yoga position and talked about what Thor called 'the good old times'.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it so far. And I think you all know what will happen next, right?  
> I'll take my notebook with the, so I can write in the clinic when I find the time to which I have a lot of...


	9. Remember, reveal, realize, react

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Age of Ultron begins. Yet there is so much more that has just started for Natasha and Bruce.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had no beta reader on this here. Tried to find mistakes but every time I read through I find new ones. So help is appreciated ^^
> 
> And I am so sorry. I promised to upload during Christmas but couldn't make it. Mostly because I wanted more than my creativity would allow me to do. So I took some time to focus and finally pulled it through ^^
> 
> Thanks for reviewing. AgentLunA, A ShrinkinG VIOLET GIrL, isaiah norris, mayonegg, TheCrampReturns and especially Red77. Your persistent requests were what actually made me finish the chapter. And from now on it's gonna be more fun for me to write so it'll be easier.
> 
> As an apology the chapter is longer than the others. So I hope that’s a comfort ^^

Natasha closed her eyes in the need of rest while they were being transported on one of Stark's jets to another mission she was doing with Clint. She already missed Bruce and his warm and calming embrace. But this wasn't the time for such thoughts right now.

"You look tired." Clint stated. He had seen it for about a week, not worrying him at first but it made him anxious more and more. This wasn't her.

"I'm fine. Really." She stated, her eyes still closed, all the machine she was.

"It doesn't look that way. Bruce is keeping you busy?" he said with a cocked eyebrow, a big smile on his face, showing his real thoughts all too clearly.

Natasha didn't want to lie to him. "Maybe." A sigh. "But seriously, I'm fine. Just about the to get the hang of it. Our love triangle with the Hulk seems to work out."

"I hope so," he grinned. "I would never get my friend being treated like..."

She interrupted him. "Don't continue. It's not like that, and you know it."

"Of course." He shook his head. "And actually I was talking about Banner." This was a lie, but he used it to conceal his idea of getting more out of her.

"He is not that fragile anymore, Clint. He has learned much these past weeks." She said sternly and then realized what his smile meant. "Damn you."

"I know your tricks, Nat. And Bruce is such a lucky man for sure."

Natasha decided to say nothing else, turning away and pretending to sleep.

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The mission had been successful. The target had told them everything they wanted to know. The last thing they needed to do was cleaning up. Clint was already busy at work, tying up the henchmen while Natasha downloaded the drive onto her stick. It was then when, from one second to the other, a sudden, terrible nausea overcame her like a shock-wave. She turned around, barely able to lean over the nearest paper bin when she threw up.

"Natasha?" Clint asked, confused for a moment before he tied the knot tighter and walked towards her, holding back her hair while she was sick.

"The food on Stark's jets is terrible." She said. "I knew it was fatal when I smelled it, but... Oh damn." One more time she threw up, then desperately gasped for air. The in-flight meal had tasted disgusting. Weirdly, a lot tasted different these past days. "It's better now. I'm okay. Just be glad, you had none of it."

"You know I like cooking myself, or Laura's cooking." He said with a smile.

Natasha stood up again, putting her messy hair back in place. "Your cooking is rubbish, only you can survive what you make." Damn, she missed Mrs Barton's creations. "Okay, I wanna clean up, so let's finish this and get back."

While she made the police call so their prisoners could be arrested, she put her hand onto her belly. The Black Widow wasn't stupid, she knew what these symptoms indicated, but it was downright impossible.

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The next morning Natasha awoke with a grimace on her face. Her abdomen hurt with a stinging pain that made her cringe. She rolled over on her side, which made her feel a stickiness between her legs, and decided to clean up in the bathroom. A nausea hit her as soon as she stood up.

"You're okay?" Bruce mumbled from within the sheets he had wrapped himself into as soon as he had lost his source of warmth.

"Yeah, go back to sleep." Natasha assured him with a soothing voice. There was no need for the doctor to know about it.

Staring at the red stain made her feel sick again but she was able to fight it down and equip the new underwear with a pad. She tried to minimize the pitiful groans she could barely hold back whenever her body seized in pain. What Natasha hadn't been prepared for was the dark and bloody water in the toilet after she had relieved herself and cleaned up. Quickly flushing she tried to get that image out of her head.

At least that question was now solved, well not solved, it just… didn't matter anymore. Whatever _might_ have been growing inside of her must have developed a fatal flaw during gestation, causing her body to end it. And as terrible as that might sound, this was life. It could go one way or the other. It could work out or not. It wasn't uncommon in such an early stage. _If_ it actually had been a pregnancy, which had seemed out of the question before since they had been careful every time once she had been restored. Maybe it was just some weird way of her body coping with the change.

The other much more comfortable option was that her symptoms were simply a quite rude manifestation of the natural side effects when having your period. Her body was enhanced after all. There was no way of telling how such a hormonal fluctuation impacted on her. Outside forces like anaesthetics, drugs and toxins might be handled differently than what her body produced itself. A shudder went through her. Would it be like that every fucking month from now on? Dear sweet father of all spies… Maybe this miracle was actually curse.

What still confused her was the timeframe. When she had gotten back with Banner from their _vacation_ she had spotted but not much else. Now, only two weeks later she was getting the payback for being treated so kindly the first time. Like a teenager going through the process a few months until her hormones had stabilized to make out more regular.

Fighting down the sickness and cramps she made her way back to Bruce to find comfort in his embrace. He happily obliged and his calm breathing lulled her back to sleep as well.

But the rest was short-lived when the AI's voice sounded over the speaker. "I apologize to interrupt this carefree morning, but Mr Stark has news on the scepter's location. Everyone has to be ready for battle in 20 minutes. Breakfast on the jet."

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Mission accomplished, scepter returned to safety, minimal casualties, cut of a few more of HYDRA's heads and kept the Hulk under control. Everything had worked out fine so why couldn't she shake this ominous feeling?

Despite being mostly impervious against alcohol she wanted to mix herself something strong to enjoy the evening despite her current mood. But merely the smell of the strong liquor brought back her nausea with full force. She sighed and rubbed her belly before preparing something fancy without alcohol.

As soon as she saw Banner walking towards her everything else disappeared and her heart swelled with the love she had for him. He had done great in the fight, even protected her and Clint when he got critically injured. The thought about how this prestigious, heroic piece of man belonged to her made her lips curve in a smile, ready to get into flirt mode when she saw him doing just that.

"How'd a nice girl like you wind up working in a dump like this?" he asked her with that specific tilt of his head when he did something cheeky.

"Fella done me wrong." Natasha replied and adapted to his way of pretending to only just to meet her while filling up a glass for him as well.

"You got lousy taste in men, kid." He said with sly humor in his tone.

"He's not so bad. Well, he has a temper. Deep down he's all fluff." She leaned forward and made sure to capture his eyes with her gaze. "Fact is, he's not like anybody I've ever known. All my friends are fighters." She started to play with her drink and was delighted in the way he tensed up after her next words. "And here comes this guy, spends his life avoiding the fight because he knows he'll win."

Bruce had quickly recovered from how she had portrayed him. "Sounds amazing."

And now for the finale. "He's also a huge dork." When she saw him almost choking she continued with the biggest secret of all. "Chicks dig that." Time to show him that she'd go all the way with tonight. Well, maybe not in her current condition - despite the 'problem' had magically almost stopped this morning -, but going… down would be an option. "So what do you think? Should I fight this? Or run with it?"

That look she gave him was her telltale sign of revealing that he'd be a very lucky man as soon as they returned to their quarters. "Run with it, right?"

She grinned and gave the slightest of nods before her eyes showed him an even deeper meaning than simple sex. "All the way."

Holy shit, had Natasha just indirectly told him she was open to have a family with him? His astonished and baffled face must have been an entertaining sight since her reaction was the most joyful and delighted smile he had ever seen on her. "Isn't there anything that might be an insurmountable obstacle?" He fell out of his role. "What about… our jobs? Is the current situation not a bit too… dangerous? Our lives might never be calm enough to… pull this through..."

"Will it ever not be?" She sipped on her drink and arched an eyebrow. "But never say never." Natasha winked at him before wandering off to the others. She didn't even understand what foolish emotion had brought her to agreeing to this. It was childishly stupid to think there would ever be a chance. But the thought was just too wonderful to not consider. And as far as she had found out through the scientists' report the child could actually turn out to be normal.

The second she had retreated and was out of sight Steve walked over to him with a big smile on his face. "It's nice."

Bruce still had to come to terms with what she had just agreed to. They both knew this right now was a bad moment to consider kids, yet someday… he would be a father of a child. "What, what, what is?" He stumbled over the words.

Steve made a gesture with his head. "You and Romanoff."

Did he hear them? Well, of course he did. "No, we haven't, that wasn't…"

"It's okay, nobody's breaking any by-laws." Yet his look told him that we wanted to see his friends married before any children arrived. "It's just, she's not the most… motherly person in the world despite her being a great leader. With all the weight on her shoulders she'd have a hard time stepping aside from the superhero business for nine months."

_Yes, there's that..._

He patted on Banner's shoulder. "But with you she seems very relaxed about the topic which truly surprises me."

_Don't destroy the nice moment,_ Bruce thought with his mouth opened in shock before he found his speech again. "No, Natasha, she...she stays faithful to the priorities she sets. And even when it comes to caring for the child, I mean, I am totally devoted to the responsibility and fine with it."

He had to chuckle at Banner's stoic expression. "Just joking. Of course our Nat's gonna be a great ma. She's earned it to have her long given up wish fulfilled." Then he got back to his awkward, typically Steve-like demeanor. "Look… As maybe the world's leading authority on 'waiting too long'...don't. You both deserve a win." He gave him a heads up before walking away with the words: "But I wanna be the child's godfather."

Bruce stood there entirely baffled until he could think again. The statement brought so many things to his mind. The child would grow up among the Avengers, protected and loved. This team was his family and, maybe soon, Natasha and he would add more to its numbers. Then, in a stupid moment of clarity, he remembered the most important thing. "You will have to talk to Natasha about that, not me. She's the boss." He chuckled and sipped from his beer, entertaining himself the beautiful fantasies that could be his family one day.

Natasha had listened to the scene playing out from a safe distance. It was such a foolish idea. Now wasn't the right time. Her body and heart said yes but her conscience said no. So now that she had agreed she would have to stall it in any way possible. A few years maybe. Bruce wasn't the youngest anymore, but he still had at least a decade until it would get awkward to have a child.

While all of them were having a fun time trying to lift the hammer she was not afraid of Bruce imitating the Hulk's appearance but most importantly she kept out of the contest since, just this evening in a crazy thought when nobody had been looking, she had lifted the hammer to her own surprise.

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The moment the Maximoff girl had spun her magic around Natasha's head the Avenger was swallowed up in the darkness of her past she had tried so hard to forget. A familiar setting surrounding her which made her hold on tight to the railing of the staircase as she looked at the replay of the most defining moment of her life. Her dance instructor shouting to do it all over again because none of them were good enough yet.

_You are made of marble._ A voice behind her said coldly.

Killing without remorse. So much red in her ledger. She had to fight on, be worthy.

_Sloppy. Pretending to fail. The ceremony is necessary for you to take your place in the world._

_I have no place in the world._

But she did! There was a… person. Natasha couldn't remember his name anymore. All she felt was panic. Then they took from her the last part that made her human. Or did they? Tools, scientists, something stretching her body.

_No, it never happened this way._ Natasha couldn't keep a clear thought while her body seized in pain, or was it...?

"No time for a sedative. We need to cut her open right now." The doctor said.

_But why?_ She tried to sit up, to look at what they were gazing at. She realized that they had pulled her hospital gown upwards, exposing her swollen belly, which was... shifting, like limbs pushing against a confinement. Natasha saw the bruises blooming while it kicked, trying to break out. She saw the doctor taking the scalpel and readying himself. The tortured woman closed her eyes expecting her skin to be torn open by the knife, but it wasn't the tool that ripped through…

She awoke screaming while the familiar arms of Barton tried to keep her down and from murdering him in her reflexes.

"It's alright, Nat. You're safe. Maximoff was just playing a trick on you." He gently caressed her cheek, showing her that a touch could mean more than just pain.

In the background he could hear Stark talking to Hill. "We took a hit, we'll shake it off."

"For now I'd stay in stealth mode." Maria recommended.

The realization of what actually had happened dawned upon the Black Widow and she just wanted to roll up into a ball and cry but she tried to stay calm, as much as she could be. This was a nightmare but it all had seemed so real. As if she actually lived through it, or would live it soon. The child was a bad idea. She knew that by now. A monster born from two of the most gruesome beings, one being physically a monster, and the other being a cruel and heartless being. What good could come of that?

As soon as Natasha had calmed down enough Clint went back to the pilot's seat.

The last thing Natasha heard before her body succumbed to exhaustion again were Barton's words: "A safe house."

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"Honey. I'm home." Clint said with a grin as saw his wife approaching him. "Hi. Company. Sorry didn't call ahead."

"This is an agent of some kind." Tony tried to make clear.

_Oh, no, Stark, you don't. Guess who is better at hiding secrets than finding them out._ "Gentleman, this is Laura."

The woman merely looked shy but also kind of cheeky enough to fit to the greatest archer in the world. "I know all your names."

A sound made Clint grin even more. Yep, now guess what, most awesome super-heroes in the world. "Oooh, incoming."

"Dad!" The kids now cheered at the surprising arrival of their father.

"How you guys doing? Ooh…" he hugged them tightly. "...look at your face! Oh my goodness!" they had grown since the last time he had been home.

Tony still didn't believe. There could be no other reason… "These are...smaller agents."

"Did you bring Auntie Nat?" The little girl wanted to know, clearly a fan of the heroine.

The young voice shook her out of the current grogginess she was in. "Why don't you hug her and find out?"

Steve was polite enough to apologize. "Sorry for barging in on you."

There was no way Tony Stark wouldn't say anything to that. "Yeah, we woulda called ahead, but we were busy having no idea that you existed."

Time to explain. "Yeah, well Fury helped me set this up when I joined. He kept it off SHIELD's files, I'd like to keep it that way. I figure it's a good place to lay low."

Meanwhile Natasha had regained enough of her person to act normally. "I really missed you. How's little Natasha, huh?"

"She is…" Okay, now there was the bombshell she and Clint had kept from her for a few days since the last ultrasound. "...Nathaniel."

Natasha knelt down with a smile. "Traitor."

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"See you worried for nothing. Can't even feel the difference, can you?" Clint tried to explain and assure his wife but it was all fine.

She had avoided the subject for now but also started to lead him into a direction he had surely never taken before, at least not to this extent. "If they're sleeping here, some of them are gonna have to double up."

"Heh heh heh. Yeah, that's not gonna sell." He merely shook his head at that.

She didn't get distracted. "What about Nat, and Dr. Banner? How long has that been going on?" Would that hint be enough for him?

"Has what?" He had told her already that there was some form of relationship between them. So what was she talking about?

His eagle eyed vision hadn't seen it? Really? "Ha ha ha! You are so cute."

"Nat and...and Banner? What about them?" He was clueless now, utterly clueless.

"I'll explain when you're older. 'Hawkeye.'" How could he not see the signs she had showed for three times now?

"Oh. Okay." He merely countered with a grin.

Okay, now let's focus him on the topic. "It's bad, right? Nat seems really shaken."

He didn't catch what she intended to say. "Ultron has these allies, these uh, kids, they're punks really. They carry a big damn stick. Nat took a serious hit. Someone's gonna have to teach 'em some manners."

He really didn't get it. Also he had just addressed another topic as she followed him through the room to the window. "That someone being you. You know I totally support your Avenging. I couldn't be prouder." She messaged his shoulders. "But I see those guys, those… gods,..." She wanted to formulated it in the least accusing way possible.

"You don't think they need me." He said, feeling small again.

She just shook her head and hugged him even tighter in fear of losing her husband and father of her children. "I think they do. Which is a lot scarier. They're a mess." The statement was more than true.

"Yeah. I guess they're my mess." The weight on his shoulders came crashing down on him once again.

"You need to be sure that this team is really a team and that they have your back." She made certain he could feel her swollen belly. "Things are changing for us. In a few months time, you and me are gonna be outnumbered." If everything went right it would, if not… if the stress upon maybe losing her husband was too much… "I need… Just be sure."

"Yes, ma'am." He could feel the anxiety in her movements.

As if in an afterthought she added. "I can feel the difference."

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"Natasha, I think we should talk." Laura stated and was surprised that the Black Widow hadn't even recognized her entrance.

"I'm sorry but I am just not in the state of…" She tried to start but was interrupted.

"In the state of being pregnant? Nat, I know the signs." She put her arms around her own very swollen belly. "From what I heard: You were protecting. But I as a matter of fact also know that it isn't always reliable. So before you go into a fight I just want you to be certain of what you're doing to you and your child."

"I can't be pregnant." At least not yet. It's too early, not the right time. After the dream she knew there would never be the right time.

"Have you seen yourself? That oddly sick face and the way you subconsciously touch your stomach? You are a good faker but not good enough to fool someone who has carried three children."

"I _might_ ," she emphasized, "be able to have kids after what had happened to me, but I am not carrying one now. There is no option. We were safe!"

There was a flicker of doubts. Maybe it actually was the problem with radiation making her feel sick. But damn, Laura Barton's instincts were never wrong. "When was your last period?"

"I never really had a proper one." She countered and spoke truth so this topic could soon be over. "After the Hulk's assault Bruce and I only had sex with a condom. I spotted right after we came back. A week after the others learned the awesome news of me being able to have kids again. And then again roughly a week ago. My reproductive organs have been messed up with, I know that. It might be years until I can actually conceive."

"You do know there can be some side effects like spotting while being pregnant? In general it's nothing really threatening. It's just that your body is dealing with what it is carrying." She too had that when she had been pregnant with her second child and the doctor had assured her overly frightened self that this could actually happen without any danger to the child.

"There still is no way Bruce would be the father. The condoms have all been intact." Well, except for the one time the Hulk had… But even with that one chance, which was very slim since her body had been cleaned up by Cho, it was still absurd.

Laura had been prepared for this so she stretched out her hand, a little plastic object in her hand. "Do it. And be sure."

"Why? There is no need. It's just side effects until my body can cope with his radioactive fluids."

"Do it." She said again and with that sent Natasha off to the bathroom where she tried to prove once and for all that her fears were just imagination.

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Laura was leaning against the wall when Natasha came back out, a look of disbelief and shock on her face and her hands shaking while holding the plastic device. It was easy to see what the little test had shown her. "Will you tell him now?"

Natasha's body felt so numb she didn't know she was answering her. "I have to."

Okay, time to make her last delusions ripped away from her. "So I thought you were protecting." And oh she knew all too well, that it could go wrong, but every child of hers was a miracle and she had embraced it, wished for it with all her heart, despite not expecting it in the first place.

"We were," she turned around to face her completely. "It can't be his."

Confusion made her eyes open wide. "But whose...?"

Natasha felt fear striking her, eyes filling with tears. The test also had an indicator of how long she was pregnant. "The Hulk's."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw, the dance instructor is played by the same man who did DAVROS in doctor who. Don’t ask why I know that, maybe I was rewatching the scene way too often and started wondering when I heard him. XD Here’s a compilation pic of that with both characters side by side: https://twitter.com/aerithmonkishu/status/717759970507431936
> 
> Also, sorry for saying Nat can lift the hammer. It was just a funny joke that I HAD to put in. Because since she rejected trying I had this… need to work it into the fanfic.
> 
> From now on I’ll use a lot more reinvented quotes from AoU you will never be able to forget and always think about when you watch the movie again. Muhahaha. (I am having this issue since I already wrote all of them the moment I saw the movie the first time. XD)
> 
> Thank you so much for kicking me in the arse to finish this chapter. If it weren’t for the commenters this might have taken another two months.
> 
> And one last thing. I did a black widow cosplay re-acting an entire comic page and guess what happened! The comic author shared the pic and was so nice in the message she sent me! Couldn't believe it! The greatest honor a cosplayer can get. Praises from the actual creator! The pics are on fb, Tumblr, DeviantArt and Twitter. http://mon-kishu.deviantart.com/art/Black-Widow-Cosplay-Name-of-the-Rose-Marvel-Comic-655802239  
> I couldn't find an answer for days, not knowing what to say to that but I found the words a free days ago. Hope I didn't irritate her. TT.TT


	10. Miracle or monster?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, I had this planned for ages, and half-written. But I was never really sure if I got the right words. This here was almost the first thing I had done the moment I got back from the cinema, hell, even when we just had trailers and clips I had this one planned. That is why I had to change so much after I watched the movie again on blu ray. The scene before this chapter, with Bruce and Nat in the tower flirting and making promises came much later and started to become a real problem in terms of plot holes here. Sadly, a lot had to be deleted but the core stuff is still there. ^^
> 
> Thank you very much to all the reviewers who pushed me to continue writing. This one would not have been finished without you.
> 
> I had no beta for this one, so please, if you find mistakes, tell me and I'll update them.
> 
> The cover image for this chapter is my Cosplay re-creation of a page from the Black Widow comic in which Nat had a still-born child.
> 
> <http://mon-kishu.deviantart.com/art/Black-Widow-Cosplay-Name-of-the-Rose-Marvel-Comic-655802239>

 

Natasha sat outside on the bench looking over the garden and tried to find a way out of the numbness that was stopping her rational thoughts. So it was true. Her hand gently rested on her flat belly while her face lost all expression. This was wrong, it couldn't be, shouldn't. Not yet. Somewhere in between imagining what the child might look like and what possible complications could end it, Natasha tried to find a solution. It wasn't only the battle they were fighting right now, it was also her body. How could she be sure that her messed up physiology kept the child alive and nourished long enough to be born? And also, what would the child do to her? It was the Hulk's, not doubt there.

Her fingers started to claw into the catsuit while the face of a little girl with her hair and Bruce's warm eyes turned into something else, something brutal, angry and terrifying. The green color of her skin wasn't the only thing that made her... inhuman. It was Natasha's own past. How could someone like her have a normal child? The blood on her hands would be passed on, like a dark legacy. Tainting and branding her to become... what? An assassin? An uncontrollable monster?

How could she have been so stupid to believe in a happy family life with Bruce? It had only been a thought, a wish. Yet now, with the baby growing inside of her, she was frightened, terrified even. For the first time the Black Widow felt true fear and was unable to find a solution other than...

"Auntie Nat?" The curious smile of Lily disarmed all of the Black Widow's doubts for a second, a bittersweet, heart-breaking second.

"What's up, my honey?" Natasha tried to not show her inner turmoil.

"Does your belly hurt?" She asked innocently and pointed at the woman's hands still clawing into the catsuit.

"I just had too much to eat. Your mommy's cooking is just so good I couldn't stop." She hoped the Lily wouldn't hear the lie. She was old enough to have noticed the half eaten food on the Widow's plate.

"Okay. Will you come play with me as soon as you feel better? I want to show you my newest toy." Oh, the childish trust...

Natasha swallowed hard. "Later, sweety. Right now I need to talk to the team."

"Do you like that man with the curly, dark hair?" Lily pressed on.

At least the thoughts of a fairytale romance would keep the girl distracted. "You mean Bruce? Yeah, I like him. He is very generous, a gentleman and good with sciency stuff."

"He can heal your wounds when you get hurt and you can protect him with your skills. That is true love." She girl said with a wide grin that lacked a tooth.

The words had been innocent and from a childish viewpoint but they hit Natasha harder than expected. Holding back the tears the assassin got up quickly and, while fighting a new wave of nausea, nudged the girl back into the house.

"Bruce is in the upper bathroom." The girl announced as she pranced off, humming and giggling.

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A bathrobe hung in her temporary room but she decided to keep the catsuit on for the talk. She felt naked without it as a protection. She waited until the water was turned off, arranging her arguments. The insecurity and fear grew stronger every second. Maybe she shouldn't wait right by the door, maybe...

Before she could decide, or even flee, hot steam engulfed her as Bruce came out. "Oh, I didn't realize you were waiting."

Any cocky remark about joining him wouldn't leave her mouth, so she simply stared at his half naked form.

"Nat, everything okay?" The worried frown on his forehead grew worse.

Truth, he needed to know the truth. For once no sneaky lies, just plain reality in all its ugliness. "We need to talk."

"Alright. Let's go somewhere private." He had no clue of what the Black Widow was up to now. Bruce himself had just been able to conquer the raging beast inside of him, and all the Hulk had done in the past hours. The flashes of rage as soon as he looked into the mirror... But the self-loathing had to be put on hold for now that Natasha needed him.

Ironically he had chosen the children's room for the conversation... Natasha took a deep breath to center herself as she sat down on the bed, a dizziness overtaking again that was half stress, half nausea.

Bruce gave her the time he knew she needed right now. He wouldn't push her and tried to occupy his mind by looking around the room. Yet despite that his subconscious was whispering dark thoughts at him. Was she breaking up because of what happened in Johannesburg? No, Nat had not been shaken by the Hulk's doings. Had it been the dream trick this weird psycho girl had played on them? What could have been her most terrible fears?

Natasha followed Banner's movements as he walked over to the cradle, rocking it back and forth. Was he thinking about what she had said in the tower? God... she couldn't do this, not now... But it had to be. "I'm pregnant." She muttered weakly.

"What?" He wasn't sure if understood her correctly. "You're... with child? Our child?" That was the last thing Bruce had expected and he was so dumbfounded he couldn't muster a coherent reply.

Natasha looked at him as she nodded. A variety of emotions seemed to wreak havoc over his face. Disbelief, confusion, his typical analyzing expression as he put the pieces together, and then... Joy, clear and utter love for her – and the baby. The wonder and amazement. The Black Widow felt alienated from the situation. She didn't, maybe couldn't, feel the same. It wasn't anything she had been trained for. Her darkest side told her it was merely a minor hindrance for missions and had to be taken care of without remorse. But Natalia, the young girl with dreams and hopes for the happy family life she had never been given cried in agony at the thought.

He couldn't believe his luck. "That is... Oh my god. Nat! This is a miracle."

"You think?" She raised an eyebrow at him, not sharing his enthusiasm.

"What's wrong?" He didn't understand why she wasn't happy about the news.

"We are not ready yet." Natasha shook her head.

"Will we ever be?" Bruce's face was kind, offering support while he still kept distance, knowing that intimidating her in a moment like that was not a choice. "Natasha, our chance is now."

"What if I say no?" She asked, void of any emotion. Did he not see the danger in all of this?

He thought she was kidding. That the entire situation was just staged to see how he reacted. Despite knowing the Black Widow wouldn't lie to him about such a sensitive topic he played along and repeated her words from long ago. "I'll persuade you."

Natasha's mouth opened in shock at this before she got herself under control again, returning coldly. "In the middle of a battle, while the world is on stake? You want to have children?"

"It's not like that! None of this was planned. But life has offered us a chance." He decided to throw all fears overboard and took the last step towards her, hugging her tightly with one arm while the other gently caressed her stomach. "And there always will be battles. But we..."

Before he could even continue she pushed him away. "Why do you want this child so badly?"

"Why do you not want it?" he returned angrily. "It's a miracle it even exists. We may never be able to have such a chance again."

"I am not the mother type, I'm a spy." She clung to her only defense although it seemed futile after the revelation in the tower.

He was taken aback by this. "Seriously? Now you start with that? Hasn't Clint just proven to us that you can be both?"

"I'm not him! The Russians never trained me for that. I was made to kill, not to give birth. And I have made peace with the fact that what they took from me was the only thing that made me human." She didn't even realize that she was on the verge of crying before the first sobs came out.

"Natasha..." Of course she was frightened. This was big news. Once she had time process it she would share his delight.

"And now this fancy technology and your Hulk genes come along and..." She couldn't breathe anymore and averted her gaze, because she couldn't bear facing him. For decades it was all the same, all just one certainty, that she couldn't have a family.

"This is more than science! It is a miracle, something beautiful." The moment he spoke the words he felt them heavy and warm around his heart. Bruce was a man of equations as well as religion but this was something else entirely, and the perfect combination of both.

She gasped at his words, lifting her head while tears streamed down her cheeks. "During our last battle, I had this, um, dream."

"What did you dream?" What horrors did she see? Was it about…?

She touched her belly. "The Hulk's resilience and my blood lust. It will not only kill me but all that we hold dear. It was even worse than Ultron. It was... death. I am carrying death inside me, Bruce! And no sweet-talking about how we raise the baby with a sense of good and evil will change that."

"It's just been a dream, a nightmare. That won't happen." He assured her.

Her voice was dark from past events and foreboding as she replied. "None of my dreams came true, only the nightmares did."

"That's a lie and you know that. I think you're being too hard on yourself."

"Here I was hoping that was your job." Natasha chuckled slightly at that.

"You wanted to run with me. As far as I want." Bruce gently took her hand in his but saw the smile slipping from her face.

"It's a little bit more complicated now. You really want to know why I am against this so much? I'll tell you. I was pregnant once, before my... ceremony." This might be the only time she would be capable of sharing this. Not even Clint knew, nobody...

"What... happened to it? You lost it?" He could feel her shivering.

"No, not exactly. I carried the child almost to full term, felt it moving inside me, kicking me whenever I was scared. There I was, about to become a mother at the age of fifteen, who needed to be supported by her own child. I wanted my baby to be safe from those who could harm it. But the war was everywhere and our troop was attacked. Everyone was killed, even the father of my child. I fled into the woods. Didn't make it that far before the labor started. It was a beautiful girl with her father's smile. Although I... wouldn't know that. In fact she never smiled at all. I just wished she had. For hours I held her in the cold snow where I delivered, waiting for that first cry... I lost the capability to love in that night, so I volunteered for the Black Widow program. After that, for a long time, and even if it hurt, I was bizarrely happy with what the Red Room did to me. So that I would never feel such a loss again."

"I am sorry to hear that..." He tried to process these new facts. No wonder she was against this pregnancy so much. It held even more risks than her first. Bruce cleared his throat. "But you said 'for a long time'. What changed?" That could be a good starting point.

"Laura and Clint. But we are different... It's never gonna work." She buried her face in her hands, trying to hide.

"It is almost ironic..." He chuckled humorlessly.

"What is?" It was merely a whisper.

"Only a week ago you urged me to take another step, even after I fell back onto the ground. And now..." He breathed in deeply. "Now, it's my turn to help you up again."

Her voice was deadly sure. "There's no way I will get through this."

Bruce had a different opinion and his hope was clearly audible in his voice. "Science made it possible for you to get pregnant, it will also help you have a beautiful, healthy baby."

"And die." She didn't want to say it out loud, but he had to understand.

"What?" His hope was lit out like a candle flame in strong wind.

That guy _was_ the Hulk. Couldn't he connect the dots? Especially as a doctor? "I saw it, Bruce, in the dream. This... this is the Hulk's child. Labor means stress and that will affect the baby. It will tear me apart, from the inside."

"It won't come to that." He retorted sternly.

"Easy to say for someone with his own anger issues. What will you do? Teach me Yoga? Doze me with something when the baby comes?" More anger than fear in her words. She felt sick, her stomach in knots and a dull pain pulsing in her abdomen.

He tried to sooth her. This wasn't something impossible. There were so many options of how to help her. "Avoiding stress for a start is good. And as soon as the child is ready we will perform a c-section under an epidural so you won't feel any pain that can cause distress."

"We're in the middle of a war against Ultron. And next week another catastrophe will happen." How could he not see the flaw in his plan?

"You won't participate in it." He stated as a matter of fact.

"Oh, yeah, it's as simple as that for you. Going the old-fashioned way." She pointed at the door. "What if they need me?!"

He took her hand in his and guided it back to her abdomen. "Our child needs you. This is a life you carry..."

"I won't have any more of that hopeful speeches. You won't talk me out of that." She felt anger tightening her chest. His resolve only fueled her anger and strengthened her decision against her own better judgment. This was her body, it was her choice. "Our child is merely a couple of cell, and when we act fast, it won't even feel anything..."

"You will not abort. You will not kill an innocent life." He couldn't believe she even considered this.

"You still think you're the only monster on the team?" she asked him, sarcasm bleeding from her voice.

"Natasha..." He tried to calm himself. He knew the Hulk was listening to her words, maybe not entirely understanding, but their emotions were locked, and he could feel the Other Guy's hatred towards this opinion. "Don't make me angry," he pressed out.

She threw her head back and laughed humorlessly. "Code Green is truly the last of my concerns right now. While this thing," she pointed at her stomach, "is probably flooding me with radiation and sucking the life out of me like a leech, before... before hulking its way out!"

Not even able to think about his own anger anymore, he saw her eyes changing into a green shade within a heartbeat. "Natasha... Oh god..." He could see her rage breaking out, only a second before she collapsed with a gasping cry of pain, her arms slung around her midsection.

"What...?" The Black Widow groaned in agony while she felt his hands pushing her flat on the ground as he tried to check on her, opening her jumpsuit to the waist. Her mind dizzy and full of pain and rage, she tried to fight him off, but couldn't muster the strength nor the coordination.

The moment he saw her belly swollen and... moving, he froze in fear. Natasha had been right. It was the Hulk's child, it was a monster.

"What is going on here?" Hawkeye, alarmed by the yelling, asked after he tore the door open, not caring about discretion in this case. "Oh shit." were his only words while he knelt next to the two of them, helping Banner to keep Natasha from lashing out. "What happened?" He asked again after the Black Widow had stopped struggling, her body still in pain, merely suffering and not fighting.

"The baby has transformed," Banner said, disbelief in his voice. The only way he saw was trying to calm Natasha, and with her also the baby, down again. So he gently caressed her cheek while whispering a few soft words to her.

"Hell, you mean...?" Clint stared at her belly. "But she can't be pregnant. She said, she wasn't!" The archer wasn't sure of how to deal with this new information, yet he knew it was all too real. He could see it, moving! "How can we help her? I mean, Tony warned us about this. We need to abort this child as quickly as..."

"We will not do that! We will find a way." His voice sounded desperate. The last part spoken with much more uncertainty than before.

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" _Help! Please, help me!" The voice sounded so frail, so young…_

_Natasha's instincts kicked in. With all the strength she could muster, she tried to open her eyes, to sit up, to understand what was going on._

" _They are hurting me. Please!" Again, so young, so innocent…_

_With a groan the Black Widow got up. Dizzy and without orientation or anything she recognized around her in the darkness she fixed her steps onto the source of the voice. "I'm coming. Where are you?"_

" _I'm here. Is there anybody there? Please, help me!" She was close now._

_Natasha blinked for one moment and the next she was standing in front of a little girl, no older than five. "Hey, sweety." She hugged the child in a protective embrace. "Where does it hurt? What did they do?"_

_Innocent blue eyes looked up, the beautiful , somehow familiar face wet with tears. "They say I am a monster. That I must be destroyed. But I…" her voice was broken and filled with sobs. "I never wanted to do anything wrong. I tried so hard to be good. And I just wanted to live."_

" _Everything will be alright. I'll take care of you. Nobody will hurt you. I promise." Natasha swore as her heart broke at the words. Who would do this to such an innocent little child?_

_Instead of growing hope the girl showed confusion. "But you said..."_

" _I didn't say anything, sweety. I only just met you." She tried to assure her, gently caressing her soft curls._

" _But..." She closed her eyes to think deeply. A familiar crease between her eyebrows._

_Natasha felt her heart freezing when the realization dawned upon her. Then the child opened her eyes, a vivid shade of green burning deep into her soul. "Oh my god..."_

" _Why do you want to kill me?"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a few issues right now.
> 
> Nat needs to survive the pregnancy. I have LOTS of ideas I often use in fanfics in different variations as you maybe know. But what would you say? Any inventive ideas?
> 
> Thank you so much for your support. If it weren't for a comment now and then that asked when the story would continue, I might have abandoned the fic. Just kick me in ass to get going for the next one XD It usually helps.


	11. Against all odds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce and Tony work to save Natasha and the child but will it be enough?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _It's been months and I'm so sorry for the delay. First my Hela Cosplay and then the BuckyNat smuthaton kept me busy._
> 
> _I have received such great ideas through you guys and I hope I didn't forget to respond via message to one of your answers. I had planned to post my responses in the foreword but all in all that would make over two pages, so… XDDD_
> 
> _Here's a list of the wonderful people who tried to help me continue:_
> 
> _AgentLunaAys, dance_of_pales, FYInichole, athela2, Botgirl, Aussie, , John, Kimberley, JAMIE and several guests and anons._
> 
> _I hope you'll continue to support this fanfic ^^ Comments are always appreciated._
> 
> _My beta hasn't been through yet so sorry for typos. It'll be updated in a few days._

"Where am I?" Natasha groaned as she tried to move but every muscle was sore and it felt like a truck had hit her midsection.

"Nat? Oh, my god. You're awake." Bruce quickly took her hand in his, caressing her skin while he kissed her knuckles. "We brought you to one of Stark's older facilities that Ultron hasn't been able to track down yet. Helen provided us with some equipment. We'll take care of you and the child."

"Child?" Then she remembered. 'Why do you want to kill me?' Her hands went to her belly, feeling the slight swell there. "I'm pregnant."

Bruce couldn't help but chuckle at her dumbfounded expression that was so unfamiliar when thinking about the Black Widow. He didn't know what was going on inside of her, the conflict and fear. With all the turmoil inside of him, it was hard to grasp the facts. He was going to be a dad. Nothing he had ever thought about actually attempting to become only a few weeks ago but fate sometimes took the weirdest paths and he would do everything in his power to protect this innocent life. Bruce put his hand on hers, caressing her belly. "You're having our baby."

"But…" She could feel movement inside her, as if the baby attempted to reach out to their father. She tried to push down the fear and dread this evoked in her. "What happened?" She could feel a cable attached to her stomach with an elastic belt and hear the fluid sound echoing in the room. The baby's heartbeat… Strong and sure, so much steadier than her own right now.

The doctor pressed his lips into a thin line before giving a breathless chuckle. "Well, my fault I suppose… The child has transformed due to your erratic state." Okay, it was a bad sign when she didn't even scold him for this mock-insult. "But all is well now. Helen's assistants took care of you, also checked on you and the baby. You're fine. Your body has repaired the damage on its own. But you'll feel sore for a few days yet when you stay calm and don't awake the Hulk inside the child due to stress. You and the baby will have a normal pregnancy."

"What damage?" She was still in a daze. The innocent little girl...

Tony appeared in the doorway. "Bruce, I've got bad news." He had crossed half the room when he finally looked up from his notes to see that Natasha had awoken. "Oh, you're up, Red. How's the bun? Cooking properly?"

Banner shot up with a growl. "Tony, behave." His slightly green hue underlined the statement. "What's wrong?"

That stopped him in his tracks. He looked stunned for a second, his mouth opened wide. A quick glance at his notes was enough to get him back into business mode. His arm outstretched towards Romanoff's stomach. "That."

"Stark!" The soon-to-be mother snarled in annoyance. If all this was just an elaborate nightmare made up by her brain she had to admit it was quite detailed if she even got Tony's cocky character right.

"Still running some tests, but the result so far are..." Tony clearly didn't want to continue, fighting for the right words to deliver a horrible message.

"Just tell us!" Natasha demanded, her arms protectively around her belly while Bruce had his hand on her shoulder.

"Radioactive poisoning." He turned the tablet around, so that both of them could see the graphs on it.

"What?" Natasha and Bruce gasped in unison.

"It will get worse. The fetus is slowly contaminating you. The radiation levels are already higher than what a human body can stand, and you are just about to reach the end of the first trimester." He made all this visible on his screen.

"Can you get it out?" she asked, her voice clear while her body showed a totally different language.

Bruce's heart was breaking. He knew he couldn't save this life.

"We can abort the pregnancy whenever you..." Tony started. There was no need for comfort or kind words in his universe when he was in business mode.

"I am not talking about that!" She almost screamed, her calm composure gone out the window.

This made Bruce lift his head again. Was she actually…? But how in all the worlds could she even…?

"I can give you something that might be able to soak up the radiation, but never enough so you can carry the baby to term." Tony tried to stay focused while his eyes remained on Bruce. The man was blaming himself for all this.

"Find a way." she said sternly. "You of all people should be able to."

The mechanic sighed in defeat. "This is already the best option I can offer you. Going by my calculations, you will make it to the fifth month and die - if you're body doesn't give up on the fetus before that to save itself."

"Natasha, please, let's just... end it," it was so hard to say these words, "before the baby can even feel what is going on."

The suggestion made her heart clench. No. She wouldn't allow her little girl to be harmed. She was innocent. "Well, what a father you are. Doing a one-eighty as soon as there's trouble."

Bruce grit his teeth. Natasha was right. He was a failure, giving up before even attempting to search for a solution. "We created something terrible." Bruce breathed out while he looked at the swell of her belly.

"No, something beautiful." She whispered in a voice that broke his heart.

Bruce felt his knees giving out as he sank to the ground next to her bed. "But… I can't lose you."

It seemed so surreal but Natasha actually chuckled and gently stroked through his thick hair. "You won't."

"Errr, Nat. I don't want to disturb this hopeful moment, but seriously, I ran the numbers. It's impossible." Tony furrowed his brows in anger. He hated running out of options, being unable to fix something, yet...

Natasha remained steadfast. "I still want to try it. If we can hold on long enough we'll be able to find a way."

Tony wildly gesticulated with his arms before pointing at the screen again. "Every day you carry the baby you're risking permanent damage to your body. The serum in your cells is good, but not that good."

She shook her head and the men in the room started to doubt her sanity with all the unshakable faith she was putting in them. "You are having options, I can see it in your eyes. You never give up so easily, Stark."

As if Jarvis was able to detect his thoughts the screen showed a few more diagrams while Tony explained. "I can design a machine that filters your blood to a certain extent but that's not enough either. You would need a constant supply of super soldier serum fueled blood to not weaken your own enhancements to the point where your own strength fails you."

She wasn't exactly happy about asking him but Natasha was sure that Steve would gladly aid to save a life. "What about Rogers? He could be a donor."

Tony grit his teeth. "I'm sure he would give you every drop he has but that's still not enough."

Bruce furrowed his brows. A transfusion from Rogers could help? Then what about him? "Can't I be the donor? I might be more compatible with the child."

"Sorry, Bruce but all fluids of yours are poison to her." Tony countered bluntly.

Natasha watched how the skin tone of her lover changed. She had to step in. "Okay, I'll talk to Steve. As for you two, I know how well you can multi-task. Since Ultron is still on the loose I want you to use your ability to work on separate things at the same time and try to fix this… pregnancy."

"Tasha." As Bruce realized that she wanted to get up he was about to interfere, to push her back down.

Natasha slapped his hand away as she raised herself, looking at him angrily. "I might be pregnant but I'm not your damsel in distress." She untangled herself from the surveying instruments. "I will be careful and try my best to protect the baby growing inside me yet that doesn't make me an invalid. You said so yourself. My body has healed the damage and the child is well."

"That was before…" He looked at Tony helplessly. "Okay, I guess we can try to find a solution. Keeping the baby in a few days..."

"Weeks." Natasha countered.

Bruce cringed yet nodded. "... will provide us enough time to work something out."

~.~ ~.~ ~.~

Steve froze when he saw Natasha emerging from the room entirely unscathed. He had heard them shouting at each other before yet the soldier had been unable to make out the exact words. The quinjet ride had been mostly silent with Bruce holding her hand while whispering to the unconscious woman. "Nat, you okay?"

With her head held high she approached him, one hand on her stomach protectively. "Guess you've heard the good news already?"

He bit his lip. The others hadn't provided much information since rushing her out into the jet and to this facility. Yet one word had stood out. "Pregnant?" He chuckled, unbelieving.

"Yeah." She answered softly, the new changes still sinking in. It was so different talking to someone who never lost his faith, even beyond the rational mind.

"That's unexpected. But new life is always good news. Congratulations. How are you feeling about it?" He knew she would excel as a mother but whether she wished to become one was a totally different matter.

"Taken aback… somehow…" Her hands caressed the slight swell as if she had to make sure it was real. But the moment she had spoken to that little girl in her dream, her baby girl, she was certain of how this would play out. Either the two of them, or none.

"How, um, is…?" He tried to find the right words. "Is the baby okay?" The more he mustered her the more his eyes wandered down to the bulge there. "How far along?"

"They said about the end of the first trimester." She could see his brows furrowing at that. "A pregnancy lasts nine months, three trimesters, so you can do the math." Deep in her mind she had to wonder why the equation didn't add up yet she pushed that thought aside for now. There were more important things to worry about. Like getting Steve on her side.

He looked at her belly even more closely, wondering how much of Bruce's genetics must have been passed down when she was already showing this much. "So, how is it? I mean, they rushed you away so quickly I was… worried." He was prepared for everything but this was a battlefield he had no experience in, and no power over.

"When I get… agitated the adrenaline reaches the child and it transforms the way Bruce does." She saw the sheer horror in his eyes as he took a step backward. Well, that wouldn't work. "But as long as I stay calm, everything will be alright." And before he could object she already lifted her hand to silence him. "I will stay out of the battles. You guys work on Ultron, I try to keep the baby alive." She saw him relaxing as he grasped and accepted the facts. "But…" She gritted her teeth and breathed in deeply. "...for that I need your help."

"Anything." He answered before even blinking, and she wanted to hug him for that.

"Bruce's side of the genes make this pregnancy quite hard on my body. The child is flooding me with its radiation and we need to keep my serum working as effectively as possible while Tony cleans and replaces my blood."

His mouth opened in shock. "Is it… that bad?"

"Worse. But you know me. I can do everything." She tried to joke but the pun didn't even reach his brain it was so messed up with questions right now. And to get his support she would have to answer enough of them in the most positive way. "Tony has some options to drain the radiation out of my blood but that will weaken the serum inside of me. Your blood type is compatible with mine. I know it's a tough request, but I require some of yours to replace mine. That should give me the edge I need to carry the child to term."

"Of course." He vowed without a second thought.

Natasha looked a little surprised at that but she should have expected it. He would do anything to save a life. And when Bruce was a part of it, with his history of experimenting on himself and all the wrong decisions he regretted, Steve knew he could trust them at least in this matter. All of the Avengers had red in their ledgers and they tried so hard to make up for it. And Steve, always the good samaritan, helped wherever he could. "Thank you." She whispered solemnly and her lips formed a warm smile. In that moment she felt a light flutter inside of her, a tiny kick that made her belly shift in the slightest.

Steve saw her gratefulness, the truth behind it. He had never been really sure if her face had just been a mask but right now, it was sincere. And then. He had seen the minute movement beneath her tight shirt even before her face reacted. "I think the baby wants to say thank you, too."

She bit her lip, somewhere between crying and laughing. "I guess so. You want to…" He had to form a bond with the child in order to be on her side as soon as Bruce and Tony had a talk with him and tried to twist his opinion. "Feel it?" Another shift inside her. The baby seemed to be quite active.

"I…" His mouth opened wide at that, flabbergasted. Three seconds later he had his brain in charge again. "Err, yeah…" Rogers stammered as he held out his hand and stepped closer.

She took his wrist with a loving smile as she guided him the last inches to the place where the baby moved beneath her skin. Natasha waited for another shift inside her, which quickly came and then she saw the wonder blooming all over the face of Captain America.

His fingertips graced over her bulging stomach and the movement made him stare at her in awe. He had never felt a pregnant woman's belly and the knowledge that there was a tiny life inside of her… "Wow…"

"Yeah, that's what I think every second." Natasha chuckled. "They can kick like their mom."

Steve laughed at that. "For sure. A strong little fighter." He could feel a tear forming in his eyes. "I'll go to Bruce right away to draw some blood. I hope this helps." He said after retreating.

I hope so, too… "Thank you, Steve. If it's a boy and Bruce's okay with this, I might consider naming him after you then." She promised as he got himself under control again. Well, it might turn into a female version of his name but he would be happy nonetheless.

"I… er… well, that would be nice. I mean… If…" He coughed awkwardly while blushing bright red.

At least she had him on her side. Now for Clint.

~.~ ~.~ ~.~

She found him on the phone with Laura. He had taken a secure mobile from the emergency kit he had at home that Ultron hadn't been able to tap into.

"No, I don't know anything yet. They're still examining her." Then he noticed Natasha. "Wait, she's here. Looking fine again. Yeah, of course. I'll ask her." Clint hung up the phone and turned to her. "So, he managed it against all odds, ey?"

"Hm, came as quite a surprise." She admitted.

"Ah, good one, I hope. Or shall I fire an arrow between his legs?" Barton joked, leaning against the wall casually.

"No, it's alright. Just…" Natasha knew the archer would be more difficult to pull on her side.

"The Hulk. Yep, got that from when I watched what it did to your body. Better now? Any way to stop it?" He had already drawn his own conclusions after seeing how it had played out today.

"It'll be difficult, but…" Was the pregnancy already dulling her edge or why couldn't she come up with a good half-truth?

"Hulking out. Yeah, seen it. Considering Bruce can deal with it, you will too. But there is more reason for concern…" He waved his hand as if underlining the great revelation she had to spill now.

"Radiation. But we might have a temporary solution through Steve. Once Ultron is dealt with we can find a permanent option." She tried to stand tall but somehow couldn't manage under his calculating stare.

"How are the chances of you and the baby surviving?" He cut to the main point quite quickly.

Natasha swallowed down the lump in her throat. "We don't know for certain yet. It all now depends on how the baby reacts to the treatment."

~.~ ~.~ ~.~

Meanwhile Bruce and Tony were hooking Steve up on one of their machines, sucking up out the blood he could provide without collapsing.

Tony knew the Captain must have had a very positive talk with Natasha half an hour before or he would be asking more questions. Well, time to share the real news. "Rogers, you do know that chances are low, right?"

"What do you mean?" He still had faith in how everything could turn out alright.

Bruce bit his lip while he worked on the machine that could flood Natasha's blood with an iodine solution that would enrich the thyroid so it might not absorb the radiation, as well as the super soldier cells of Steve that might keep her body strong enough to deal with the damage done to her organs.

"Acute radiation syndrome on Natasha will also mean she'll need bone marrow transfusions, and let's not even start what it'll do to the child on a genetic level." Tony could see the doctor stiffening, yet continued anyway. "I mean, radiation destroys the DNA and usually leads to a miscarriage fairly quickly, even under the best circumstances it'll mess up the baby's development, as in deformation, mutations…"

Bruce smashed the tools he was holding onto the table. "We don't know that yet! And also, think about how I survived. If I passed enough of my genes down to the child for it to transform then it'll stand its own radiation easily. Natasha is the one we have to worry about."

"Yeah, well," sarcasm was dripping from Tony's words, "I am just working on a lead encasement for a womb if only there wasn't an umbilical cord connecting mother and child."

Steve sensed how agitated the two men got. "Guys, we can work this out." The machine next to him gave a sound indicating it had drawn the amount of blood they'd set at the beginning of this. "Now, let's give it a try first."

~.~ ~.~ ~.~

Three hours later the soon-to-be mother was connected to a makeshift dialysis machine that filtered and replaced her blood.

"How are you feeling, Nat?" Bruce asked her while he viewed her vitals.

"Better, clearer." She breathed in deeply and closed her eyes. The woman could feel her own heartbeat, steady and strong, as well as the baby's, fluent and fast. And even more of her senses seemed to sharpen. She could smell and taste their fear and anticipation. Looking at Bruce again Natasha saw him in the most intense colors. Every one of his dark hair had a different hue. Even the smallest movement of his muscles was clearly visible. "Whatever Steve has in his blood is a true eye opener."

"The effect won't last. You'll use up his serum to fight the radiation." Tony showed her a chart of how she would drain the energy Steve had given her through his blood. "But it will give us some time to work on a solution."

Natasha smiled at Steve who gave her a relieved nod.

Tony worked on the control of the reconfigured blood purification apparatus. "Alright, we'll leave you on the machine for another half an hour and then…"

A blink later Natasha felt the nausea kicking in hard. "Hand me a bucket first."

"What?" Tony asked in confusion but Bruce understood and reached her with the paper bin just in time.

While Natasha emptied her stomach the doctor watched the shocked expressions of the others. "Have you never heard about morning sickness?"

That calmed the others down yet the relief didn't last long. Natasha started to convulse, coughing violently, her entire body seizing.

"Something isn't right. This isn't just morning sickness." Tony commented as he went into action, running the numbers while Bruce pulled up her shirt and set the probe on her lower belly.

The ultrasound was a total blur. "Natasha, please, try to lay still. I can't see anything."

"This goes past all the charts. Shit!" Tony announced as he shut the entire thing down.

"What are you doing?!" Banner snapped at him. He was glad Steve helped him to hold Natasha on the table as her body fought against the pain knocking the probe away whenever he was sure he had a clearer picture.

"It isn't working! The kid is in distress. If you would be competent enough to read a sonogram you'd noticed!" From one of the cupboards he produced some kind of cuffs to bind her to the bed. "She's got to calm down so the baby does as well."

Bruce knew from experience that this was now not in the realm of possibilities. "I'm gonna sedate her. Steve?"

The Captain nodded as he held her arms so Tony could tie them to the metal frame of the bed. All the while he tried to talk to her, to sooth her and the baby but her eyes showed no sign of recognition. More like a wounded, trapped animal lashing out while continuing to wail in agony.

The doctor filled a syringe with a narcotic and went straight for her neck to inject it. Sedating a pregnant woman wasn't exactly optimal but right now this was their only option. "I'm sorry…" He whispered as Natasha gasped, looking at him in horror.

Steve froze when he saw the bright green color of her eyes, the feral intensity of it. In anger she rose up, trying to protect her child from whatever the men might attempt once she was knocked out.

Tony was ready to call his suit when at last Natasha's gaze grew distant and she collapsed on the bed. He quickly checked the vitals when something on her charts sparked his interest. But he had no time to ponder over it when her levels dropped drastically.

Bruce couldn't move as he heard the alarm ringing in his ears. Had it been to much of the narcotic? Looking at the hematomas forming on her belly while the baby kicked, he began to wonder if it hadn't been enough. His hands gently cupped the swell there, something he knew had no medical effect, but he was desperate enough to try. "Come on, my child. You don't have to be scared. We'll take care of you. Don't hurt your mother."

Steve watched the miracle playing out in front of him as the movement stopped and the bulge decreased. "You did it."

But there was no time to celebrate. "She's crashing. Quickly."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Hope you enjoyed. The next chapter is halfway done and I hope I can post it before Christmas._
> 
> _Please review._
> 
> _PS: Check out my Hela Cosplay and headdress tutorials if you're interested. ^^ This one here is the old headdress from early summer. Currently I'm working on a new, more accurate one._
> 
>  


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